An unexamined life is not worth living.
No matter how far we journey in life, there are always questions that swell around our minds; they could be self-reflection questions, questions about life that makes you think, life questions to ask, questions to ask yourself to find out who you are or what direction you are headed in?
These questions to ask yourself enables you to determine where you are, where you have been, where you intend to go and how these actions have shaped your life.
These questions to ask yourself serve as a bridge of identification, examination, discovery, and clarification. Life changes at every point of survival and the need to adjust to its transition brings about growth and in the course of this transition, it’s easy to lose your focus and fall short on your journey.
A few months ago, my mental state was set loose, my life was on a tight rope, the experience of adulthood, friendship, career, and relationship were extremely overwhelming. I had to take a big step out from the puddle of confusion and turn the lights of evaluation on.
I had to understand that my roots were entangled in self-betrayal and unclear beliefs; I wasn’t giving enough to myself as I had given to others, I kept seeking for external validation, reducing the spark of my authenticity to embrace the warm light of others, peeling off my strength in an embrace of love.
Until I put my life under a consistent check; asking the right questions to bring about introspection to create a foundation for a happier life, I did not have a successful breakthrough.
When you create a space of positivity you will attract positive vibes more, so when you outline questions to strengthen the level of positivity in your life, you grow.
Set out your microscope and let’s figure out what you need to find in yourself. These questions to ask yourself are meant to tend to your inner voice and guide you through the struggle of survival and living. They can also serve as self-empowering journal prompts
1. What Phase Are You In Currently?
- What is this phase teaching you?
- Did you learn what you need to carry on to the next phase?
- Are you unlearning?
- What has brought you the most joy and the most challenge and how has that shaped you?
This is a vital evaluation of life. Life is a crate of experience, each layer or section has a lesson to teach. As things unfold through every process in life; wilting, falling, rooting, rising and blooming, there is always a lesson hanging in between each phase.
Our experiences are a catalyst for growth; they keep us in check and prepare us for the long point of our journey. You may be at an invisible spot where everything seems to be crumbling down.
I want you to remember that when the balance of reality unravels with your dreams magnified through a glass of limitation; when everything around you shatters, know that rock bottom is a perfect place for rebuilding! Every scare through the struggle and turbulence of survival is a badge of honor; each misstep is a victory dance waiting to happen- Titilope Sonuga
Learning the complicated language of survival -letting go and holding on, your experiences are bricks to be layered up to get a head-on on the path you have to take. There are lessons the universe is instilling in you, so you know what to take into your next season.
This is a major evaluation and consoling lift I stand on each time my tolerance is trimmed. When survival gets tough through the experiences and journey, I ask what does this phase has installed for me? What is this situation negatively or positively teaching me? How can I induce that knowledge into my life as a force changer or uplift? I can go as far as yelling this out and crying my heart out as I vent my answers out.
Life has rough edges and learning through these twists and turns, my friend, can be challenging but the ability to learn from failed routes makes you navigate better. So darling, when you lose the momentum to strive, shove your feet and ask the question- What is this phase teaching me?
Sometimes, the revelation or lesson may be clouded but eventually it comes to light, it could be after you have moved from that situation or phase.
I have a draft on my phone where I subsequently outline every lesson I have learned from my dark phase. I see them as badges of wisdom and strength incurred from the fight of survival and when things get all rosy I go back and read them out loud. I subsequently share snippets of my drafting format on Instagram if you haven’t been following me you can do that now to get every detoxing templates that I use for free.
I want you to try this exercise and let me know the outcome. It really motivated me in looking forward to the relevance of that tight phase.
2. What Are You Holding On To That Is Limiting You?
- What are you creating toxic space for?
- What positive thoughts about myself can I focus on?
Hold on, don’t be too quick to answer, travel down your hill of experience and reflect. In a bid of survival, we are bound to make connections, lose some in the way and pick up certain negative traits of limitations consciously and unconsciously.
Life changes at every point of survival and the need to adjust to its transition brings about growth and it is not always easy to adjust. A few months ago, my mental state like I said was on a tight rope, I was utterly chasing the wrong purpose, limiting myself, waking up self-doubt.
I continually belittled my accomplishments as little as they were, curbed my authenticity by not giving permission to be myself, silent my voice and intuition, compromised my beliefs, and prioritized others over myself.
And at the end of that process, I was externally and internally exhausted I couldn’t understand that each challenge or experience was a stepping stone to a greater journey of empowerment and strength.
Instead of a stance of anger and regrets, I started to let go of the mistakes I made and gave myself the opportunity to learn to stand up for myself, give permission to myself to shine, induct my beliefs, prioritize myself over others and invest into some effective self-care routines.
3. Have You Cared And Nourished Yourself?
- How can you tend to yourself with more compassion?
- How can I create more room to just be?
- Am I taking care of my needs and desires?
- Do I say yes when I should say no?
- How can I love myself more today?
- Am I practicing self-care enough?
Tending to yourself is a necessity of survival. We are often taught by society countlessly to struggle, find a balance, and have a successful life but not exactly how to maintain our mental and physical state.
Through the struggle and in the quest of figuring out your stance, navigating through boundaries, surviving through the turbulent journey of life.
We have to learn to tend to ourself; tending to yourself could be even in the smallest things like:
- Creating me time.
- Soaking your soul with peace.
- Letting go of the limitations of the past.
- Indulging in productive routines.
- Declaring your worth.
- Learning to choose yourself.
- Treating yourself with more respect.
- Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries.
- Uprooting negativity and paving way for positivity.
- Prioritizing others over yourself.
Tending for yourself is nurturing yourself, it is a series of commitments. Always endeavor to employ these questions to ask yourself to know you are coping internally and externally.
4. Are You Embracing And Accepting Changes Or Life Transition?
This is one major empowering question that the Life Compass exposed me to, the arrival of change or the acceptance of a transition life ushered in, has always been a daunting or difficult situation for me to accept. Change drags in a lot -the thoughts of learning, unlearning, letting go, taking more responsibility as reality comes to play makes life scary but the ability to accept it makes living worth it, makes it a blissful adventure.
This is a question you need to continually ask yourself to keep track of the pieces we are failing to move or failing to see.
Life isn’t blissful, it can be very challenging. The change could be in your finance; having increments could be overwhelming and working with your budget could be stressful, we just have to be ready to partake in the adventure life provides.
The truth is we are all playing blank cards in life, we might have an idea of where we intend on ending but we can’t see it until we get there so we hope for the best. Life has its strategy in even checking up before we show our cards.
5. What Mindsets Are You Pursuing?
- What positive thoughts about myself can I focus on?
- Where does this thought come from?
- Is it mine or someone else?
- What can I learn from this thought?
- What belief is attached to this thought?
- How long have I had this belief?
- Where does this belief come from?
- Has this belief served its purpose?
- Can I let the thought and belief go?
Our minds can be seen as an attractive template; they entice and work with the kind of thoughts we harbor. Developing or nursing a positive mindset is extremely beneficial for your mental and physical health.
There was a time in my journey I had no idea on what a positive mindset was all about, I constantly let my assumptions, fear, insecurities, and limitation take the better part of me. I couldn’t grow, I was too afraid to take risks and chances until I learned to not be pushed, persuaded by the fears in my mind and this was really difficult.
Sometimes, I still find negativity lurking around but I know what to channel to discard such thoughts. I have 2 extensive articles that can positively impact your mind and lead you on a positive journey. Here’s to developing a positive mind, and mindset hacks to empowering yourself.
Sometimes all we need is to question our inner narrative. Our minds are the gears to our body, we support the gear to move seamlessly, instead of worrying about what I couldn’t control, I shifted my energy to what I can create and the energy or vibration I give to the situation I experience and with time I started to grow.
I am still a work in progress, still learning and unlearning the intricate lessons of positivity and you can do that any time (smiles).
To stay on track, these are questions to ask yourself when you are approaching a transition, facing a crisis, in a challenging phase or even have no direction about life.
- What kind of thoughts am I nursing?
- What is my mind geared on?
- What direction am I heading to with the stance of my mindset?
- Is this a progressive thought?
- Am I exercising my mental strength and authority by preserving such thoughts?
- What can I be grateful for and positive about right now?
- What am I holding on to that I need to let go of?
- How am I conditioning my mind?
6. What Do You Want To Add And What Do You Want To Release?
Am I ready to heal or release this?
Phew! This is a deep question I want you to ask yourself again. I am certain you weren’t focusing on the meaning of the outlined questions. In the struggle of survival, we hold on to several rays of support which could be detrimental to our growth and overhaul our stability.
It could be holding on to a toxic relationship because of the clouded hope for change from the person, it could be letting your family break your boundaries because you don’t want to come off as rude or selfish, it could be seeking external validation to feel good, sabotaging yourself due to your mistakes and experience from the past, holding onto the past as a leverage to build boundaries. Many of us have learned coping mechanisms and survival techniques that kept us safe when we needed them to.
Often, we continue holding onto these tools, even when we are no longer threatened. By honoring the purpose they once served and thanking ourselves for keeping us safe, we need to start letting go of and unlearning what no longer supports us in the way they used to. Don’t cling so tightly to your hurt that you don’t make room for your healing- Lisaoliver
I’ll love to share this tool; it’s an excerpt from Lisaoliver
Ways to tolerate difficult emotions and release negativity:
- Practice mindfulness.
- Utilize somatic exercise and breathwork.
- Implement a self-compassion mantra.
- Take a five-minute brisk walk (if this isn’t accessible, do jumping jacks or stretch your arms up and out).
- Change your environment.
- Ask yourself when you need to add or subtract.
- Remind yourself when you are safe.
- Create a personalized plan for yourself to reference when you need it.
When Self-Doubt Comes Visiting
Ask yourself– what might I be needing right now? What am I noticing? What might have brought on this feeling?
Remind Yourself– Lots of people experience self-doubt just because I feel this way doesn’t mean it’s true. It’s okay to just notice this feeling right now, and I don’t need to act from it.
Give yourself– Time to feel it, space to explore it, room to get curious about it and freedom to choose how you respond.
In this past 3 months this has been a routine I have been cultivating; releasing toxic energy, negative vibration attracted from my fears, beliefs, limitations, and mistakes through my experience and overcoming a dark phase.
I am creating a release tool that can help you gain a border perspective of your spark, let go of your fears, eliminate self-betrayal, self-sabotage, take full control of your life and dominate positivity. Let’s not spill the secret…..Shh!
So hurry up, if you haven’t subscribed to my email list join the illuminators or follow me on Instagram and be the first to get notified when it’s launched. I want you to know that the process of growth can be challenging, it entails a lot of learning and unlearning, letting go and to grow, you have to let go of negative boundaries in order to make a space for what nurtures you.
7. What Am I Grateful For Right Now?
- What do you feel thankful to have that others do not have?
- What relationships am I thankful for?
- How can I be thankful for the challenges that I’ve experienced?
- How can I be thankful for the changes that have occurred in my life?
- What insights have I gained that I am grateful for?
- What do I appreciate and why?
- How can I say thank you more?
- What opportunities do I have that I am thankful for?
- Is there anything I’m taking for granted that I’m grateful for?
Gratitude attracts more happiness, positivity relish good experiences. No matter the phase or situation we find ourselves, there is always a lot to be grateful for, the act of gratitude enables us to grow.
Gratitude is a very important activity that needs to be stitched into our lifestyle; there is so much we take for granted that can spring up more happiness when we choose to see things from that appreciative lens.
8. What Am I Afraid Of? How Can I Work On These Fears
- What am I so scared of that will bring so much pain in my life?
For so long, I was withdrawn and limited by the fears I harbored. Fear seemed to magnify the limitations and challenges that I could overcome.
Fear was me forgetting everything and running instead of facing everything and rising. It took me a while to understand that fear is fuel to success, it is not present to limit you but to push in the direction you want to go. I remember figuring this out to myself and the term fear was just a term that I was in total control of.
Your ability to know and understand breaks the complication. You have to understand that our fears are negative thoughts that we are constantly engineering to control our minds and until we learn to dominate our minds with positivity, we cannot grow beyond our limitations and fears.
9. What Is The Meaning Of Life? What Is My Purpose?
This is a very important question to ask yourself especially when there is a transition or a shift. I have written a proper guide on 6 unexpected ways to find your purpose in life to help you design your life.
So many of us wake up to self-realization in our 30s and 40s and realize we don’t know why we got here and how we got here and we know for sure this is not where we wanted to be years and years ago. In this blog post, I have outlined my personal process that I used in scripting my life to success and will completely change your life. I have as welled created a life directing tool that will enable you unravel your purpose and discover your true value and self- worth.
10. How Do I Set Goals And What Goals Should I Set?
- What can I change to better support my goal?
- Is this the direction I want to be moving in?
- Are my recent choices helping my happiness?
In the journey of chasing our dreams, setting goals are a boost of elevation. Goal setting enables us to see what we are accomplishing and analyze how we can accomplish more.
People without goals are not as successful as they hope to be and people who do not write down goals or present evaluating questions to ask are less likely to accomplish their intentions.
My life has totally taken a positive shift from my improved goal setting habits, and in a bid to keep that organized I always ask myself how do I set more goals and even at the roof of success what goals should I set? I have written a blog post here that answers this question as well as shared the best Goal Planner/ Chaser that will enable you crush your set goals and will serve as an ultimate guide in designing a successful life.
Self-awareness and evaluation is a major tool to design a successful life; when self-awareness starts deepening, we begin to understand the influence of our accumulated experience, reclaim our power and navigate through life with ease.
My darling, endeavor to check-in with yourself with these questions to ask yourself and if these deep questions resontates well with you and you’ll want to continually check in with yourself, you can purchase The Life Compass workbook which has been created with over a 100 prompts and several self-improvement and self-love exercises that will enable you continually evaluate your life and take charge of your wellness.
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