10 Steps On How To Become A Better Person

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be a better you

“Make the most of yourself… for that is all there is of you.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

At certain points of our lives, we have all yearned to be better persons than we were, to evolve beyond our current state, to take charge of our lives, to organize and make some important changes and upgrades be it financially, spiritually, emotionally or mentally.

We have questioned our capabilities and wondered if we could do more or be more. It is normal to have that feeling of wanting to do better. It is a great sign that you can be better than you already are

The question now is, how do you become a better person? For me this is a very vital process of growth in the quest to become better and constantly improving yourself amidst the struggle, chaos, setbacks, disappointments, and several experiences we encounter.

In this article, I will suggest a few ways to become a better version of yourself. One truth you need to accept is that becoming a better version of yourself is something that you work on for every minute of the day. It is not something that happens at once. It is a gradual process.

You consciously make efforts to be better than you were the day before. And while at it, you’re also careful to be sure that it’s a holistic approach. You want to make sure that you are better in your relationships, career, daily routine, health, and life.

striving to be a better person

You are sure that taking one step at a time is definitely going to take you to your goals and make you become a better individual while you make significant contributions to the general society.

It’s a beautiful thing to have an attitude of gratitude, to keep an open mind to events, to have the willingness to change, to quit making excuses for being mediocre, and to have a forgiving spirit. These things and more contribute greatly to being the better person that you wish to be. In the latter paragraphs of this article, I will share a few relatable stories as I take you through the journey of explaining each point.

Becoming a better person is a holistic approach. It’s not a one-way thing. You can be better in terms of virtue, finance, physically, and many ways. Now, you can always be the best version of yourself but you do not need to be hard on yourself.

how to be a better person inside and out

We will be looking into 10 specific ways to become a better person. Now, let’s carry on with 10 ways through which you can be a better person.

I know this sounds a lot but you don’t have to feel overwhelmed by these steps. At the end of this article, I have attached a 30 day challenge you can embark on that is guaranteed to massively improve the quality of your life. Grab a cup of coffee and let’s talk… 


1.  Be Willing To Change

how to be a better person by day by day

This is very key in knowing how to be a better person. Like the saying goes “change is constant.” Logically, you would not be seeking to be a better person if you had everything perfect.

The yearn to be a better person stems from the fact that you have some parts of your life not smooth enough. And until you admit that, you will never be a better person. Also, it is not enough to admit that you are not the best version of yourself, you must be willing to change.

In your bid to be a better person, you will have to eschew some habits and welcome newer ones. This will require you to have an open mind. When you have an open mind and you are willing to change, you will definitely make progress in your journey to becoming a better person.

You would not know the beauty of experiencing something new until you actually open yourself to newer opportunities. Learn to be open to change and watch yourself become a better person.

Years back, I used to eat late at night. Not for any special reason, I used to do it because I felt it wasn’t really a big deal. I actually had people who told me it was bad but I did not take them seriously till I read the story of someone who did the same thing that I was doing and faced health challenges.

At that point, I knew I had to be honest with myself and realize I was doing more harm than good to myself. It took a while, but with time, I became a better person in that aspect of my life.


2.  Stop Making Excuses

There is no excuse for being mediocre. When I started blogging, I would blame everyone but myself for mistakes. To me, I would never have a fault.

I continued with this mentality for a long time until I realized that it was a major hindrance to my growth. I had to come to terms with the fact that if I ever wanted to be a better person, I would have to stop making excuses. I needed to hold myself responsible for any mistake that is truly my fault and of course, look for a way to change things.

If you want to become a better person, you need to learn how to stop making excuses. When you have mastered the art of not making excuses, you will start seeing every task you are given as a means of showing that you are indeed a better person.

I once battled procrastination and it cost me a lot of things. I remember one time when I was actively into freelancing. I had so many jobs and I had to outsource some.

However, I had a hard time dealing with the remaining ones on my table not because I was too tired, but because procrastination wouldn’t allow. Every single time I wanted to get the job done, some excuse would pop up in my head and I would brush off the urge to get the job done. And then it would get pretty late, I would not be able to get it done anymore.

Frankly, it was a terrible habit which made me look irresponsible in the eye of my clients. Overcoming that habit required me to realize that I must take responsibility for some of my actions and inactions if I really wanted to know how to be a better person.


3.  Forgive Someone

Forgiveness is a deliberate process by which a victim must undergo to cause a change in feelings and perceptions about a particular person or happening. It is a process you have to go through to overcome the negativity that comes with resentment and vengeance.

One thing I have personally learned is that humans are prone to making mistakes, so, holding it in your heart against them would really yield nothing because they would really never stop making mistakes. From experience, I know that holding grudges and having to hate on someone for whatever they might have done to hurt you really sucks.

It dampens the spirit and breeds hatred. If someone hurts you, it is only fair that you walk up to them and tell them how they have wronged you and how they can change. When you refuse to let go of the hurt and pain, you would be doing more harm to yourself than to any other person.

The act of forgiving does not deride the hurt you might be facing. Actually, you will still have to face the hurt. But the beauty of forgiveness is that, it lets the hurt go away by itself. You will never be a better person if you keep having the hate in your heart. Knowing how to be a better person is not a one-day thing and these tips should guide you in your journey.


4.  Cultivate A Habit Of Gratitude

Gratitude is the ability to recognize the fact that something is worthy of being appreciated. In order to become a better person or evolve beyond your challenges and limitations; gratitude is a vital attribute that needs to be adopted or developed as it is a powerful catalyst for happiness.

Gratitude helps you to grow and expand, it brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you. One thing I have developed over time that has drastically improved my life and has made me grow as a better individual is finding the purpose, the need and appreciation in every situation that I encounter be it good or bad situation I believe that each phase unfolds for a reason and each situation must be appreciated.

Gratitude opens your eyes to the limitless potential of the universe, while dissatisfaction closes your eyes to it and in order to become a better person you have to create and cultivate that habit of gratitude. 


5.  Use Positive Self-Talk As A Tool

If you are an ardent follower of my blog, you must definitely be aware of my love for positive affirmation. Saying positive words to yourself has a way of improving a lot about you. Before I go out daily, I make sure that I tell myself positive words. They help build my confidence and reassure me that I can be the best version of myself.

If you are struggling to be a better person than you are now, this is something I would strongly recommend. You are doing well and although things may not be going smoothly as they should, you are sure to get there.

I once got betrayed by a good friend, years back. The betrayal affected almost everything about me; from the way I appeared to the way I interacted with people. It messed even with the way I viewed myself. I read of the practice of positive affirmations somewhere online and decided to start doing it.

Every day, I would tell myself beautiful and positive words first thing in the morning and last thing before I slept. Thankfully, it worked well for me and in no time, I was over the betrayal. To know how to be a better person, you need to work on the way you view yourself and part of doing that is telling yourself good words.


6.  Practice Random Acts Of Kindness

Look around you, there is always someone in need. One of the ways to be a better person is putting yourself in the shoes of others. Try to feel what they feel. In the United States for instance, there are over 560,000 homeless people loitering nooks and crannies. These people have no one to care for them and are sometimes, left to face the harshness of their reality alone.

This would be further intensified by the lockdown in some parts of the U.S. These people -and other kinds of unprivileged people- are around us and need help. Part of being a better person is putting their plight into consideration as you go about your daily business. Many people get confused at this point.

You may be thinking “I do not have enough money!” Well, you do not have to give them money all the time. Some of these people do not even need your money. They just need someone to identify with them, and that does not, in most cases, require money.

Also, if you have clothes, and other material things that are not of use to you anymore, instead of actually making a waste of them, you can give them to the needy around you. You might not know how much help you might be doing to someone.

Also, the recipients of your help must not only be beggars on the street! Sometimes, surprise your best friend, colleagues at work, or even neighbors. Trust me, the beautiful feeling of putting a smile on someone’s face is unmatched.

So, if you want to know how to be a better person inside and out, or you are striving to be a better person, this is one thing you should not joke with.


7.  Leverage On Your Strength

You know yourself more than anyone else. You know your strengths and weaknesses. You know what you can and cannot do. One of the key ways to become a better person is to always leverage on your strengths. If you are better at football than at tennis, then it would only be wiser that you face your football more than you face tennis.

Leveraging on your strength not only means admitting that you are not good in certain areas, but deciding to overlook those areas and focus on the areas that you are good at.

In my prime days as a writer, -well, I think I still am in my prime days (haha)- I had a friend who challenged me with every of his writing. He was such a beautiful writer. I always had a thing or two to learn from him. But then, I realized that after a few months, he stopped writing. Curious, I asked him why he would quit using his amazing talent to inspire people like me.

He simply said “I found a better area where I would be better at using my strength and I went for it.” It was shocking to me because all the while, I thought being a writer was what he aspired to be, but then he had his mind somewhere else and there was nothing I could do to change that.

He simply leveraged on his strength to become a better version of himself. So, you can also follow my friend’s footsteps. If you are not comfortable with what you are doing at the moment, there is a huge chance that you are on the wrong path of life and that would only fuel your weaknesses.

It is ok to admit that you have weaknesses but knowing how to be a better person is starving your weaknesses while feeding your strengths. So, feel free to start leveraging on your strengths today.


8.  Practice Self-Care

How to be a better person

My blog is dedicated to giving you great tips on self-care, so, really there is no way I would complete this article without talking about self-care. Prioritizing yourself is very important to being a better person. As a matter of fact, this is the most important way of being a better version of yourself.

In self-care, you adopt certain practices to put a check on the various aspects of your life. Self-care is important for your physical and mental well-being. Everyone needs self-care. We all need self-care to help us with our inner and outer selves.

Doing things like keeping journals, praising yourself when you do something awesome, meditating, and so on, would help you master the art of self-care. Feel free to peruse the blog to read the many articles I have written on self-care. After reading them, I am certain that you will learn how to be a better person.


9.  Be Yourself

You have nothing to prove to anyone. You should live your life unapologetically. You are who you are and nothing can change that. The moment you start to live a life of shadows, you start to deviate from the path of living a good life. Your life is important and no one can value it more than you.

Your happiness is your number one priority and you cannot achieve full happiness if you do not know how to be yourself. When it comes to being ourselves, we fear that we would not be accepted for who we really are, so, we put up a faux identity and live a fake life.

One thing that you must know is that you can never be fully accepted by everyone. People would always have something to say about everything you do. So, why care? Live your life unapologetically and watch things change for the better.

Being yourself means accepting yourself completely, working on the flaws you can work on, and accepting the ones you can’t. Being yourself is a very important part of knowing how to be a better person.


10.  Listen To Others

This is another way to become a better version of yourself. It is important to always listen to what others say. As humans, we tend to superimpose our thoughts and opinions on others often without allowing room for the opinions of others. To be a better person, you do not need to play down the thoughts or opinions of others, rather, listen to them and take out what you can.

Listening to people helps you see things for different perspectives and deductively make decisions. In knowing how to be a better person, you should listen more.



If you have read the post up to this point, I’d like to say thank you and also congratulate you for putting so much dedication into becoming a better person. If you put these tips to practice, you will master how to be a better person and be happy.

One thing is certain, with conscious efforts you can achieve that goal. Also, you could get a copy of our journal or planner to aid you in the process. Feel free to drop your comments in the comment section. I’d like to hear your stories.


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How to be a better person and be happy



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Author: Afam Uche

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