When things get rough, our convictions and beliefs are challenged and our backs pushed to the walls. When life is getting harder day by day, everything we believe and stand for is tested to the limits and our foundations are rattled to their cores.
In the darkest moments of our lives, it becomes difficult for us to see the light clearly and most times, our thoughts become clouded with dark thoughts and hope becomes an almost foreign reality to our hearts.
Trying times are a part of life and an earlier realization of that fact will go a long way in helping us strive in dark seasons. What has kept a lot of us from losing it are the memories of who we are and what we believe.
Learning that there are positive things to remember, has always strengthened us and for me, it has helped stop me from giving up several times. Today, I’m going to share ten things that you need to keep in mind when everything goes wrong. Ready? Let’s go!
1. Every Challenge Or Limitation Is A Step Up
In high school, I was taught in geography classes that the precious stones that we value today, the likes of gold and silver are formed in the Earth under the most intense conditions.
Those stones are exposed to high temperatures and pressure. It is the adverse conditions that help shape and brings out the uniqueness of those stones. Even after they are mined, they are still subjected to rigorous refining processes that will put those stones in their purest states.
The beauty of those processes and unfavorable conditions is seen after the stones have been refined completely.
I like to think of the challenges we face in a similar light. The overwhelming circumstances we find ourselves in have a way of building up resistance and strength within us.
Because of how painful it usually is, it is very possible to be blinded to the growth that comes with such experience. The advantage of such experiences is that they push us to do more, to become more.
Challenges force us out of our boundaries, our comfort zones and make us begin to take bold steps in the direction that we should go.
Most times, you might never think until you get stuck! However, most of us end up drowning in the quagmire of negativity and despair.
If there is anything you need to have at the back of your mind in this journey of greatness, it is that our limitations only make us stronger.
Of all the things to remember, this should be one that you should never let out of your mind. They only put us one step ahead of our weaknesses. When you begin to remind yourself of this, it becomes easier to remain hopeful.
2. You Can’t Always Control Your Circumstances But You Can Control Your Attitude
I always tell myself this; life happens. Some situations are just beyond you and whether you choose to accept it or not, there are circumstances that you can do nothing about.
Choosing to struggle and attempting to push beyond that which is above your control will only leave you tired, frustrated, and exhausted.
Always learn to accept that some facts cannot be changed no matter how badly we want them to be. One fact does exist that although we might not have any control over the events of such circumstances, we have control over our attitudes and responses to what life throws at us. Choosing to remain positive is a great way to start.
Of all things to remember, here’s one you should not forget in a hurry. Anytime you seem powerless about a particular problem, learn to remind yourself that you’re still in control of how you react to whatever comes your way.
3. That You’re Not Alone
It is very easy for us to begin to think that we stand alone when the going gets tough. Especially when life gets hard and you feel all alone to a point where breathing becomes a fight for survival.
I faced this same reality earlier this year. I forgot what it meant to have friends and to feel loved. I allowed my pain to make me believe the lie that I was a loner and that no one cared.
A particular occurrence shattered that belief. Because I was such a loner, text messages from friends or loved ones were not a regular thing.
You could imagine the look on my face when I received a text from an old friend. She said that she had noticed my withdrawal from everyone else and wanted to know if I was alright.
That single act was enough to make me remember that I wasn’t as lonely as I thought. It became clearer when I realized that my absence was noticed and it felt good to know that.
Our painful experiences can make us feel this way too and sometimes we can be tempted to accept the reality of us being alone even though it is not true.
You must learn to remind yourself that one of the things to remember when the days get dark is the fact that you’re never alone. You’re surrounded by so many people who love you for who you’re and who would go to any length to make sure you’re alright.
Don’t believe that lie. You are not alone!
4. That You’re Stronger Than You Think And Know
I struggled in believing statements like this because I knew how weak I was. I know my struggles and the challenges I faced daily. So telling me that I was stronger than I thought was a bit difficult to believe.
However, my experience shaped and changed my perspective. After a few months of going through hell, I began to realize that I was capable of so much more. My challenges showed me that there was so much I could do that I had no idea of.
The last few months have seen me perform feats and handle responsibilities that theme from my past would have flopped at. If anyone had told me three or four years ago that I’d be able to do some of the things I do now, I’d probably laugh real hard and tell that person that he was insane but here am I today.
Sometimes the heat of life’s challenges can make us blind to the inherent capacities that are hidden within us. However, those same challenges can open our eyes to how strong we truly are and how much of our abilities lie untapped and unexploited.
Of all the things to remember, you should always keep in mind that there lies so much capacity hidden in your being. Our challenges should remind us of how strong we are not how limited we are. If you’ll survive the storm, you’ll need to always remember that you’re stronger than you think and know!
5. That The Struggles We Experience Only Prepare Us For Better Days
Believe me, the above statement is nothing but the truth. I believe that all my experiences positive and negative only prepared me for what I have become today and will also prepare me to handle much more in the future.
My failures in the last few years taught me a lot. I learned to be bold, proud, and confident in my capacity. I learned how to handle rejection, shame, and disgrace from human society.
Those painful experiences steeled my resolve and only made me a more resilient, determined, and dogged person. Now imagine I never went through those things, do you think I’d have what it takes to be here today? I doubt that.
Our dreams are burdens and responsibilities that must be fulfilled. How will we know the value of success if we do not taste the vile pain of failure? How will we be able to tell and help others grow if we have not gained the experience needed to help them? If we do not go through the process of refining like the precious stones, what stories will we tell our generation?
I have stopped playing the pity game a long time ago and I adjusted my mindset to always accept that whatever doesn’t kill me will only make me thousand times stronger and unstoppable.
I hope you learn that of all things to remember, this should be one that you learn to hold close to your heart. The pain of today will teach us how to handle the responsibilities of tomorrow. The events of today, good or bad only prepares us for the better days.
6. Rainy Days Don’t Last Forever
Have you ever been stuck in a rainstorm before? Do you remember how long it might have lasted? The thing is no matter how long it might have kept raining, it would eventually stop at some point.
In all things to remember, learn to never forget that nothing lasts forever. The terrible situations will not be here for all eternity. Always say to yourself when the heat gets intimidating, that this too shall pass away.
Because it actually will. The truth is, there will always be awful days. It is a reality that unfortunately, we cannot avoid. What we can do however is to find the endurance to not break during those hard times.
I used to be a huge fan of Batman and one thing I learned in all the movies I watched of him, was that the darkest nights always came ahead of the brightest days, and somehow, I find comfort in those words.
So I always try to remind myself, that it won’t last forever. That I won’t be trapped in my struggles forever. That one day, I’ll break free from my limitations and soar the sky like an eagle.
You should learn to do the same too. Learn to make positive affirmations to yourself. Say things like, “no matter what happens, it can’t last forever. I won’t be stuck here forever.” We have a collection of several positive affirmations, positive words of encouragement and strength that you can subsequently bookmark and visit later to edify your mind and build up your positivity buds.
It might not be attractive an act but it helps keep us from hitting the rock bottom of despair. Remember, dark days cannot last forever.
7. Negative Thoughts And Statements Won’t Change The Situation
This was one of the many mistakes I made in my earlier years. I was such a pessimistic person who always spoke negative words at any chance she could. Now that I look at it, I had a lot of faulty mindsets back then.
Having negative thoughts always leaves you worse than you already are.
How do you think worry is born? And since your thoughts influence your speech, the same goes for saying negative words. They always leave you filled with so much fear and worry.
You need to always remind yourself that worrying and saying negative things about your present situations cannot and will not change the current state of things!
It’s like hitting your foot on a rock and yelling at it for hurting you. Will that change the problem? No. It only leaves you with mental exhaustion and drains you. There are lots of positive things to remember, why choose to dwell on the negative ones?
I made these mistakes consistently until I began to realize just how powerful our thoughts and words could be. When I began to know that spreading negativity could not change the situation, I resolved to be more positive. It helped me greatly. That season of my life taught me how empty and helpless it was to worry. How vain it was to think and see negativity all the time.
So, I resolved to do this. Whenever I find myself in an unpleasant situation, I begin to remind myself that being pessimistic will only do more damage.
All I try to do within those periods is to imagine and focus on the possible positive results that could spring up. I resolved to taking action and planning instead of worrying over things that I might never be able to change.
Of all things to remember always, remind yourself that negativity through words and thoughts does not bring any form of positive change to the table. It only makes the situation worse!
8. Reasons Why You Do What You Do
Reminding yourself of the reasons why you began to do what you do can be a great source of encouragement during trying times. I do it a lot. I do it whenever I get depressed when things seem to not work when my expectations and plans are cut off.
I do it. Personally, it helps me keep my eyes on the goal, on the prize, and not on the present circumstances. I have learned over time to remind myself of my visions and why I chose to become a better person.
Those reasons, as simple and as insignificant as they might seem, are the motivation you need to get through dark phases.
Because the sincere truth is the reasons we do the things we do are what drives us. Our passions, our dreams, and our beliefs for our future! Those are the reasons we do those things.
When it gets really difficult, sit back and think about your past. What are the reasons you decided to be better? Why did you choose to grow?
9. Giving Up Is Not An Option
I remember reading an online story that compared two people. Mr. A had gone in search of diamonds and for a long while, he had been digging. There was no sign of him getting any diamonds for himself. Soon enough, he grew tired and gave up. So he decided to take his leave.
On his way out, he met Mr . B coming to dig for diamonds too and since they were both familiar with each other, they both had a little chat. Mr. A complained about how long he had been digging and that he had not found any diamonds yet. Mr . B ignored Mr . A’s negative reports and went ahead to get started with his search.
It so happened that the exact spot where Mr. A stopped his search was where Mr. B continued from. In just a few minutes of digging, Mr. B stumbled upon more diamonds than he could ever have imagined in his entire life. That would have been Me A’s lot if he had dug for just a few more minutes.
He gave up when he was almost at his victory spot! It gets very discouraging to keeping pushing when things seem to not be working in all visible terms. I understand. But I also understand that the greatest men that have brought positive changes and impact to this world were not quitters. I can go on and on with their names.
Some of you have mind-blowing ideas that you’ve been working on for ages! That’s more than enough reason for you to not give up yet. You might be at the point of a breakthrough and not know it.
One thing is common among great men and that fact is that they do not give up. No matter how tough the going gets, they always keep going. That person could be you too!
I always tell myself that I have many choices but giving up is not one of them. You should learn to make that decision too. The decision that of all things to remember, always remember that giving up is not an option for Victors.
10. Happy Memories
Since I am such an emotional person, getting discouraged when everything goes wrong seems almost natural to me. I am sure that you also experience such overwhelming emotions too.
Here’s what I like to do on days like that. I visit my past and begin to relive the happiest memories of my life. It’s how I have survived over the years.
Reminding myself of the good days has a soothing and comforting effect that has helped me remain sane during challenging seasons. Of all my top three things to remember, I love to remind myself of my favorite memories.
You should learn to do the same too. Those memories do not have to be very important dates but as long as it brings a smile to your face and warmth to your heart then it is worth remembering.
Another simple thing you can do when life gets hard and you feel all alone is to get access to some materials that can help you experience positive bursts of growth and improvement.
You can click on this link to access one of such materials, we have several self-improvement tools and resources on afamuche to equip you on your self-improvement journey and enable you to take charge of your life.
Here’s another thing I’d like you to keep in mind. I don’t believe that anyone is a failure. I just believe that we go through seasons that are designed to help us become the best versions of ourselves.
Failure to realize this simple fact would be doing more harm to yourself than good. Always try to remember that there’s always room for growth. Even if you become the best in that field, there will always remain room for growth.
Remember to choose yourself and choose self-improvement every time.
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