Low self-esteem is one of the many common challenges that people face. Unfortunately, it is so common that research shows that over 85 % of Americans in the US suffer from it.
Low self-esteem is also common amongst children and teenagers and affects older folks between 50-and 60. Over time, health experts have learned to associate low self-esteem with mental illnesses like depression, anorexia, and anxiety.
Diverse concepts and ideologies revolve around what the world knows about low-self esteem. However, to understand and recognize the signs of low self-esteem and how it affects us personally, we must understand the concept of self-esteem.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem refers to the mental perception or image of a person. The existence of that mental image of themselves influences how they see themselves and the impact of their presence in society.
People who have healthy perceptions of themselves are usually very confident, expressive, and outspoken. The opposite of this in a person is low self-esteem. It stems from a place of inadequacy and dissatisfaction with oneself.
A person with a case of low self-esteem never feels satisfied with themselves. They always see a blemish in their personality or themselves, which sometimes, sincerely, isn’t always there.
Causes Of Low Self-esteem
Although there is no direct diagnosis, one can encounter it as a challenge due to various causative factors. The following is a list of some of the causes of low self-esteem.
1. Childhood experiences like bullying, inability to fit in at school, difficulty meeting your parents’ expectations, or abuse can be very influential causes of low-self esteem.
2. Societal standards and expectations of how a person’s personality should be can be a valid cause of low self-esteem.
3. Socio-cultural forces such as sexism, racism, and ableism can also be influential causes of low self-esteem.
The poor presentations in the media industry or microaggressions from neighbors in the street you live in make it easier for these forces to reach us from all angles.
10 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem
Even though most medical experts do not regard low self-esteem as a severe medical condition, low self-esteem has physical and psychological signs and symptoms.
And since I have had very personal experiences with it, I will be sharing some information that will help you recognize low self-esteem when you see it. I trust this article will be a very enlightening and educative read!
1. Low Self-Confidence
I mentioned earlier in this article that people with healthy mental perceptions are usually outspoken, confident, and expressive. They typically exhibit a certain level of optimism, certainty, and positivity.
It’s almost like they never experience stage fright or ever get confused. Of course, most confident people were not confident in the beginning.
But, they worked their way to it, as you can too. To learn more about building up self-confidence, click on this link to read the article here.
One of the surest signs of low self-esteem is a lack of such confidence or an inferior version of it. A person with low self-confidence exhibits physical signs of low self-esteem.
For example, they often struggle to air their opinions in public, stare at the ground, or avoid eye contact during conversations. You would usually find them walking with their faces towards the ground or slumped shoulders.
They always seem to look defeated, timid, or afraid. Behaviors like the above are signs of low self-esteem.
2. Negative Social Comparison
The signs of low self-esteem are sometimes very subtle but dangerous habits. One such is a nasty habit of unfavorable social comparison, which can sometimes be mistaken for criticism.
The practice of negative social comparison is one of the many signs of low self-esteem in women and teenage girls sponsored by toxic societal standards and social expectations.
Today, our world has carved out a picture of what a beautiful and successful woman is supposed to look like and how she should behave. At first, it doesn’t seem to have an unhealthy effect until you take a deeper look at the situation.
Due to the existence of this mental picture, those who don’t fit in are regarded as not acceptable. While those who fit into the societal standards of beauty are deemed acceptable.
It is not unexpected for a person who does not meet these standards to feel inferior or less unique, even if they aren’t. Victims of low self-esteem always compare themselves to every other person.
Sometimes, the habit of constant comparison is their attempt to pressure themselves to perform better, even though it is a self-sabotaging act.
They get carried away with the feeling of never being enough, forgetting that their best competition is themselves.
If you ever notice that you compare yourself to others even over the smallest detail, you might be dealing with low self-esteem.
3. Difficulty Accepting Any Form Of Positive Feedback
Another of the numerous critical signs of low self-esteem is difficulty accepting positive feedback.
A person struggling with low self-esteem finds it challenging to believe positive statements about themselves, especially when it comes from others.
If you walk up to a person who happens to be a victim of low self-esteem and compliment how good they look, they might either not believe you or mistake your appraisals for insults or teases.
The inability of a person with low self-esteem stems from the fact that they never seem to see or expect anything from themselves.
That deep-seated inadequacy makes them believe that there is nothing special about themselves.
When you point it out to them, accepting it becomes a challenge. I remember facing the same challenge myself. Back then, when a person complimented my looks or work, I took it as just trying to be kind or considerate, even if what they said might be true.
Look around you. Do these examples remind you of yourself or someone you know? It might be a case of low self-esteem.
4. Fear Of Failure
A classic sign of low self-esteem is a constant fear of failure. It is almost natural for anyone to be scared of failure. No one likes to fail, but people with low self-esteem seem to have this hyper fear of anything that looks like failure.
It is common to hear them use words or ask questions like, “what if this doesn’t work?” “What will they think of me if I fail?”
People with low self-esteem obsessively fear failure or believe that they aren’t good at anything, even when there is no evidence. And most times, this fear of failure limits them from trying out new things or taking risks.
So yes, a person with low self-esteem will instead remain in their safe cocoon than get involved. So as long as it seems unpredictable and they don’t seem to have a certain degree of control of the situation, it’s a huge NO.
I believe that the fear of failure that most people with esteem issues experience is sponsored by unpleasant past experiences. Those past experiences destroyed their confidence in their ability to face challenges.
So while people with low self-esteem might fear failure, they tend to avoid competition or challenges of any form. Hence, most times, they give up without trying.
In a nutshell, allowing fear of possible failure or the unknown limit you is a sign that you might be dealing with a case of low self-esteem.
5. Trying To Please Others
Sometimes doing this might play out subtly, like doing everything to be in good books with your boss even when it isn’t convenient for you. You might confuse it with being kind or responsible, but it isn’t.
One of the signs of low self-esteem in a man is his efforts to please everybody. Because he feels inadequate, a person with low self-esteem believes that trying to please everyone will help him avoid conflict with them and keep him in their good book.
Most times, those who such a person attempts to please see him as a wimp or use his mental and emotional issues for their selfish ambitions.
If you scrutinize the efforts of a person who loves to please others, you will realize that they do it with the hope of gaining external validation.
People who do not feel good about themselves may go out of their way to ensure that others are comfortable, satisfied, and happy even when they aren’t.
It often involves neglecting their needs and saying yes to things they might not want to do. They feel guilty about saying no and rejecting offers they aren’t comfortable with.
6. Negative Opinion About One’s Self
Having a toxic or harmful opinion about yourself is another one of the most typical signs of low self-esteem.
As a result of their poor self-image, it is difficult to find a person with low self-esteem who says positive things about themselves.
When they make a mistake, they sound very negative or make hurtful statements about themselves in an attempt to desire to be better.
They fail to see how much it affects them in the end. A person with low self-esteem is most likely to use statements like “I’m a failure/loser” and “why do I never get things right?” “I was such a fool.”
People with low self-esteem usually struggle with forgiving themselves and letting go of the guilt from past mistakes. It is one of the reasons why self-appraisals or positive affirmations are never easy for them.
The mindset has a deep-rooted connection to their doubts about their personalities and abilities.
It primarily stems from criticism or abuse from parents and other significant adults in their childhood. And this, in turn, affects their overall confidence as persons.
Also, there is a higher tendency that people who say many negative things about themselves might be struggling with a more heightened mental ailment like depression.
An excellent way to recognize low self-esteem when you spot it is in words. Watch how the people around you speak about themselves and take a quick inventory.
The one who usually says negative things about themselves amongst them has a greater tendency of suffering from esteem issues.
7. Self-Doubt And Overthinking
Studies show that people who overthink a lot are most likely to be depressed or have anxiety disorders. Overthinking comes from insecurities and a fear of the unknown, which are common in people with low self-esteem.
In an attempt to prevent themselves from failing or getting hurt, people with low self-esteem overthink to see and consider every possible case scenario and prevent the worse from happening, which most times never works.
The same goes for self-doubt and an inability to have confidence in what you can do. Self-doubt refers to those feelings or thoughts that make you think or assume that you aren’t good enough or that you cannot perform better than the people around you!
Even in decision-making, individuals with low self-esteem might worry about taking the wrong option. The doubts they experience concerning their opinions further discourage them.
So, they rather defer to what other people think instead of going with their preferences. The product of self-doubt is second-guessing and an inability to be firm about a decision, especially when it needs to be defended in front of others.
If you are looking for signs of low self-esteem in a friend or someone you know, keep your eyes open for struggles with self-doubts or overthinking! You might have low self-esteem right in front of you!
8. Difficulty Asking For Help In Times Of Need
One of the everyday struggles and signs of low self-esteem in a person is the inner conflict of wanting to ask for help in times of need and not having the guts to do it.
A lie that people with low self-esteem tend to believe is that they always have to be strong and independent and that needing help is a sign of weakness.
Another lie that is responsible for this struggle is that people with low self-esteem usually think they are being bothersome or liabilities when they ask for help.
The presence of the two mindsets above makes it extremely difficult for them to ask for help or assistance even when they need it badly.
And when they successfully break free from the limits of those mindsets and eventually ask for help, they feel guilty.
Most people who exhibit this particular symptom of low self-esteem probably grew up in an environment that made dependence look like weakness and were not given room for mistakes and growth.
People with low self-esteem dislike the idea of experiencing any form of weakness and struggle with accepting the reality of their humanity.
Like other signs of low self-esteem, difficulty in requesting assistance from others is a very subtle inner conflict that can sometimes be challenging to recognize. Refusal to seek help in a time of great need is a strong sign of low self-esteem.
9. Inability To Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries means having principles or values that influence your thought patterns, belief systems, and way of living. The existence of these boundaries defines our personalities, preferences, and dislikes.
These boundaries also help us scrutinize what we allow or permit into our lives. Think of it as having walls around you as a city. Yes, that is what having boundaries feels like.
A crucial sign of low self-esteem is that they lack the willpower to create the rules of their life and establish it as a lifestyle irrespective of the consequences and opinions of others.
Folks with low self-esteem are scared of airing their opinions and saying no when they need to.
And it gets so bad sometimes that even if it might be painful to them, they struggle to find the voice to refuse or reject an offer. They often do this because of the fear of hurting others or being rejected.
10. A Constant Need For Validation
Validation means to be approved, endorsed, or accepted by a person or group. Validation is good, especially when you have a good self-image. But it becomes toxic and damaging when you become dependent on it.
It puts you in a condition when you begin to value the opinion of others above yours to a point where you cannot believe in yourself until someone else does.
A constant need for validation is one of the signs of low self-esteem that often gets mistaken for naivety.
For people with low self-esteem, the opinions of others matter a lot to them. This is because of the negative views they have about themselves. One of the side effects of this need is that it turns them into people-pleasers.
Apart from the fear of being rejected that they experience, the validation they get from others becomes some reward for pleasing the people around them.
Another reason people with low self-esteem experience the need for validation is the lack of control they live with.
Because they think they have little or no control over their habits or what goes on in their lives, that lack contributes to their desire for acceptance from others.
Sometimes, even after making a decision, people with low self-esteem often get afraid or worried that they might have made the wrong decision.
As a result, they do not believe what they think of themselves and usually pick the views of others. The consequence of this is a series of self-doubt that makes decision-making a lot more difficult for them.
Conclusion
All around us are people who struggle with low self-esteem. Most are aware of their struggles but do not know how to overcome them. Others aren’t even aware of what they experience daily and how it affects them.
Overcoming low self-esteem is a long process that would require you to be patient and allow yourself to heal. Nevertheless, it is a process that is worth starting early.
The signs of low self-esteem are predominantly subtle, and recognizing them in a person requires you to study or know that person.
However, if you seem to recognize these symptoms in yourself or someone you know, I will advise that you begin to work on it as early as possible. To get started, you can read up on how to build your self-esteem here.
Your mental health is essential to your growth as a person, and low self-esteem can be a severe threat. You can start your journey with seven days to a better you.
This resource has been specially prepared to help you transmigrate to a higher, better, and more satisfied version of yourself. You can access it here.
Save this for later!
INSTAGRAM || FACEBOOK || TWITTER || PINTEREST || YOUTUBE Â || LINKEDIN