If you have been told you need to work on yourself, then you are on the right track. However, don’t feel defeated if you don’t know how to work on yourself.
Working on yourself is not a concept that should baffle you, even though people like to make it seem like a big deal. Instead, I’d like you to see it as a series of small steps that connect and come together to help you achieve your goals.
There are several ways to work on yourself, like how to work on yourself mentally, physically, as a man or a woman, for a relationship, internally, as a person etc.
They are all aspects of the same concept. Summarily, when you work on yourself, you will become better mentally, physically, and in every other aspect.
There are many tips on how to work on yourself. If you have ever asked this question out loud, you have probably gotten lots of suggestions on how to do it. The essence of this article is to help you with a fair bit of practical suggestions.
However, before we delve into that, there is one thing you must know about working on yourself – ONCE YOU START, YOU CAN’T STOP.
The Act Of Working On Yourself
If you have gotten to the point where you realize that you need to work on yourself, then you are halfway there. However, it takes a good deal of humility to know that you are not perfect and that you need to improve in certain aspects of your life.
However, it would not be good to see working on yourself as a means to an end. That would not be how to work on yourself. For example, deciding to improve yourself because you want to appeal to someone else.
While such motivations may be a good enough trigger, they will not be enough to keep you consistent. What am I trying to say? Your motivation must be internal. You must work on yourself for yourself and nobody else.
If you can see it this way, you will realize that working on yourself is not a destination but a journey. Working on yourself opens your eyes to many exciting things you have never noticed.
It also opens your mind to new ideas or concepts you have never thought of before. Simply put, it opens up a whole new world to you!
15 Practical Steps On How To Work On Yourself
Let us get into it, then. How to work on yourself is presented in the following 15 points:
1. Do Some Retrospection
A famous quote says that ‘those who do not learn from history are bound to repeat it,’ and it is an excellent place to start when you want to start working on yourself.
You have to look to your past and examine yourself properly. What are the things you used to do that have to change? What do you need to improve on? What behavior of yours did people frequently complain about?
What character trait cost you financially, mentally or physically? You cannot decide to work on yourself without first resolving any past issues that may be potentially problematic.
Asking yourself questions like these helps uncover the areas you need to work on before moving to any other aspect of your life. For example, if you cannot control your appetite, work on that before heading to the gym to lose weight.
Bad eating habits could ruin any results you may achieve at the gym. So, engage in retrospection to decide the most important things you need to work on, learn from your past mistakes and plan your future.
2. Learn Something New
Learning is an activity that keeps your brain sharpened and increases your cognitive strength (which is your ability to reason correctly). This second method of working on yourself involves gaining knowledge on something you do not know enough about.
For example, you can decide to learn how to knit or how to play a musical instrument as a method of working on yourself. Learning something new helps you to think, plan and execute better.
This makes you more intelligent and more able to handle life’s situations. Learning something new should revolve around the area you are trying to work on because it gives you more knowledge about it.
For example, if you are trying to eat healthier, you can learn how to make healthy homemade food to help you make healthier food choices.
3. Take Out Time To Rest And Rejuvenate
People often feel like resting is taking away time that could have been used for work or other productive activities, but the truth is that rest is productive work. If you do not rest properly, you will not be able to work as productively as you should because your body will be tired.
This leads to burnout, quick irritation or aggressive behaviors, and angry outbursts, and in extreme cases, it could even lead to sickness and hospitalization.
To build a healthy balance, realign your perspective on life, and clear your mind, your rest periods must be proportional to your periods of work activities. You cannot work on yourself if you cannot stop working.
So make it a habit to take out time to rest regularly, it is critical to a sound mind, and your body will thank you for it.
4. Examine Your Habits
Lao Tzu famously said, “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
Notice the part about habits; your habits become your character! Those things you notice have become a ‘part of you’ are simply actions you are so used to performing that it now becomes your character.
That is why an excellent method on how to work on yourself is to examine your habits. What are those things that you do subconsciously without even realizing? What are your patterns of behaviors?
For example, I know a friend whose immediate reaction to any request asked of her is ‘No,’ even before she completely hears the question.
Even though, many times, she would later say ‘Yes,’ her initial response always made people think she was selfish. However, it was just a bad habit that she had! So, examine your habits, and you can change them, little by little.
5. Surround Yourself With Positivity
While it may be relatively easy to be pessimistic or cynical about your life or the world, positivity will always be a better option.
Thinking positively and continually trying to see the good in everything is a power you can harness to change your life and improve it.
You can start by writing positive words of affirmation (about yourself or the world in general) and putting them in places where you’ll easily find them.
This will help to remind you of the positive aspects of things, no matter how gloomy it gets. This keeps you hopeful and will give you peace during life’s storms.
6. Start A Gratitude Journal
If you have been thinking of how to work on yourself internally, it helps to have a gratitude journal where you can regularly document the things you are thankful for.
A gratitude journal is a journal where you can write down the good things that have happened in your life and the things you are grateful for. While working on yourself, you will get to some points where you feel downcast or cannot continue.
At those points where you feel like giving up, returning to your gratitude journal will help you appreciate your journey so far and also help you to count your blessings, giving you the energy to continue.
7.  Detoxify From Social Media Apps
Social media may be exciting and fun, but it can also take a toll on you if you’re always online. A digital detox is a great start if you’re wondering how to work on yourself mentally. Practice taking breaks from social media.
Constantly observing other people’s lives on social media often creates the illusion that everyone else is doing better than you and can lead to negative self-talk and unfair comparisons.
To work on yourself mentally, practice social media detoxification regularly. This allows you to work on yourself without making any comparisons to strangers on the internet. It also gives you self-control over social media, which can quickly become an addiction.
8. Pick Up A New Hobby
Unlike learning something new, a hobby is done without any pressure for productivity. This means that a hobby is done for leisure or relaxation.
Unfortunately, many people make the mistake of thinking that everything they like to do should be monetized or that they must make a career out of it.
However, it does not always have to be that way. If you have made the error of monetizing your hobby to the point where it now becomes work, consider picking up a new hobby.
Hobbies are essential for well-being because they help you relax, recreate and have fun without pressure. It is an amazing way to work on yourself mentally.
9. Face Your Fears
Fear is one emotion that paralyzes people and makes them incapable of making necessary changes to improve their lives. This is why facing your fears is important when learning how to work on yourself.
If you want to work on yourself, you have to let go of the fears that have been holding you back from doing the things you want to do.
It could be the fear of what others would think, the fear of whatever plans you have not working out (the fear of failure) or the fear of not being good enough.
Irrespective of the fears you have, you must face them. This is because your whole life can be bland or stagnant because of a fear you refuse to face. If you have not faced your fears and put them behind you, you may be unable to move forward.
Facing your fears does not mean that you ignore them or pretend they do not exist; instead, it means that you sit down to ask yourself why you have those fears, accept them and work on eliminating them. At the same time, you do not let them stop or limit you in any way.
10. Treat Yourself With Kindness And Respect
Working on yourself involves not only your relationship with other people but your relationship with yourself. So if you want to learn how to work on yourself, starting with your relationship with yourself is good.
Many people are fond of treating themselves less than they would treat others. If you treat yourself without respect, you may have a poor perspective of yourself, which will affect your confidence.
Self-respect comes when you put in the necessary efforts. They will be times when you fall back into old patterns but you can always bounce back using the tips here.
Learn to treat yourself with kindness, respect, and all the love you can muster. Self-love is vital because it’ll help you pick yourself up when you make mistakes or do not get things right.
In addition, it will help you recognize that you are a human being with flaws, so it is okay to make mistakes.
It will also make you realize that you are unique and deserve kindness and dignity. So, don’t make it a habit to use negative words about yourself or speak to yourself in a condescending manner.
Learning to be kinder to yourself is a slow but progressive journey and it can get challenging. For a guide on how to make it easier, read the post here.
11. Raise Your Standards
Make it a habit not to settle for less. Instead, raise your standards, and you will realize that the world will adjust. Sometimes, you realize that you may have been putting up with things that you should not.
For example, settling for friendships where your energy is not returned or where the emotions are one-sided and not reciprocated. If you’re in any relationship where you constantly give more than you receive, you need to reexamine such a relationship.
Apart from making the decision not to accept particular negative or sub-par treatment from people, raising your standards also involve deciding to do better for yourself and those around you.
It does not mean a superficial superiority without any substance, just the knowledge that you deserve better and will work towards it.
12. Set Goals, Conquer Them, Then Set New Ones
Decide to be the best that you can be. You can achieve this by setting goals and achieving them! Setting goals is a recipe for success because it gives you a map or blueprint to follow to achieve your goals or objectives.
Remember that a goal without a plan is a wish. So, as you set goals, design a plan on how to achieve those goals.
Once you have achieved a particular goal that you set, you should celebrate it but ensure that you set new ones, no matter how small.
Constantly setting goals and achieving them keeps you on track and creates a sense of fulfilment and perpetual progress. However, do not limit your ideas of the goals you should set.
It does not always have to be work-related. For example, you can set a goal to rest more, go on a vacation or spend more time with your family.
13. Be Futuristic; Think Of What You Want To Be
John Galsworthy rightly said, “If you don’t think about the future, you cannot have one.” So while it may be futile to lazily wonder what the future may look like or what’s in store for you, it is in your hands to create your future.
It is the things that you do today that will determine what your tomorrow will look like! So never make the mistake of thinking that the future does not matter or that you only have to focus on the present and not make adequate plans for your future.
Instead, actively keep your future in mind. You may not know precisely what you want to be in five years from now or ten years from now, but you should have a general idea of what you intend to do with your life.
It could be what industry you want to have a career or practice in or the kind of life you would like to have – maybe all you want to do is raise a simple family, and that’s good too!
Knowing these things is essential if you want a straightforward method on how to work on yourself because it keeps you steadily moving towards your goal no matter what.
This ensures that every other thing you do in life will still connect back to what you desire for your future or the kind of future you want for yourself.
14. Develop A Positive Social Network
Learning to work on yourself is not a small task. However, it is much easier to work on yourself when surrounded by positive-thinking people who inspire you to work on yourself, support you, and constantly encourage you to keep pressing until you reach your goal.
Even better, you can find people working towards the same goal as you are so that you can encourage each other as you work towards similar goals.
15. Read More Books
You know how it is often said that ‘experience is the best teacher?’ Well, it can also be the most expensive teacher! Books provide a better option – learning from other people’s experiences!
With books, you get to dive into a world of people, sharing their experiences and mistakes so that you can learn from them and not repeat them.
Books on self-improvement, in particular, are constructive when you are trying to figure out the best method on how to work on yourself in a manner that would be suitable to your unique needs and the specific area that you want to work on.
Books can help you depending on what you want to work on, from time management to social relationships.
Books On How To Work On Yourself
1. Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating – Brian Tracy.
2. How to win friends and influence people – Dale Carnegie.
3. The power of positive thinking – Norman Vincent Peale.
4. The 7 habits of highly effective people – Stephen R. Covey.
5. The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho.
6. Thinking fast and slow – Daniel Kahneman.
7. You are a badass! How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life – Jen Sincero
Conclusion
I hope these books help! I also hope the 15 practicable methods on how to work on yourself helped you too!
Always remember that working on yourself is a lifelong commitment that never really ends, so you must appreciate all the moments of your life and ensure that no matter what, you are constantly improving.
Which tip on how to work on yourself did you find most interesting? Which one would you want to try out first? Let us know in the comments!
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