How To Calm Down When Angry And Tame Your Annoyance

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I am sure you have searched for ways to calm down when angry, there are things you can do, and they cannot be achieved overnight

It’s normal for people to get upset. It is because so many things around us make us angry. Our nature makes us respond to situations we don’t like with anger sometimes; the only thing that worsens is when you prolong the anger.

When you don’t control your anger or calm down, you might end up with things you will later regret—for example, yelling at your kids, saying hurtful words, sending rash messages, or resorting to physical violence.

So, you have to employ familiar strategies to help you control your anger. I will show you how to calm down when angry in this article, and I hope you enjoy reading this!


15 Ways To Calm Down When Angry

Calming down when you’re angry doesn’t mean you are a weakling. It means recognizing and expressing your anger in healthy and productive ways, and it is a skill everyone should have. If you have your anger under control, you still have to improve your management skills.

If you can’t manage your anger, it can lead to regrettable actions. But, without the fuel, the fire within you will reduce, and you will become calm. So, I will share with you fifteen ways to calm down when angry.


1.  Admit That You’re Angry

The first thing in conquering a situation is accepting reality, and it helps you understand yourself. When you admit that you’re angry, it enables you to express it, and it begins to decrease in that process.

You will certainly get tired when you rant for long; you can mention to a friend you are angry about and state what you are facing. Passiveness kills internally; acknowledge your anger.


2.  Take A Breath

To calm down when you’re angry, take a deep breath. Yelling and ranting for too long when you are mad will obstruct your breathing activity; this makes you have a high heart rate.

It can affect your thinking at that moment and make you do things unknowingly. Therefore, take deep breathes, which will allow your heart rate to slow down. Continue doing this until you feel relaxed.

3.  Listen To Music

ways to calm down

Music is a therapy for human beings. You can listen to your favorite music when you are angry to make you calm. Listening to music affects your mind and body.

It gives you a sense of relief. When listening to music to calm yourself, you should listen to solemn songs, not songs with fast beats.


4.  Get Some Fresh Air

In my mid-twenties, I had a roommate who annoyed me on several occasions. She would take my money without my permission and spend it frivolously. Even when I had plans for that money.

I vented, yelled, and shouted at the top of my voice for him to return it. I was so angry that I didn’t hear him speak. Then, I discovered that the room was hot and stuffy; it made my anger boil.

So, I stepped outside for fresh air, and before I could say “Jack,” I was calm. When you are angry, go outside the environment for some hours, and you will see how the air will calm your nerves.

Not only will the fresh air calm, but the change of scenery will also interrupt your anger.


5.  Fuel Your Body

ways to calm down

“A hungry man is an angry man.” If you are hungry or not hydrated, it’s easy to be angry. So it would be best if you ate something to slow down the anger. The other techniques can’t work if you don’t fill your stomach.


6.  Walk/Stay Away From The Situation

People upset us sometimes, and it’s better to leave the environment to stop it from progressing.

If you stay in the situation for long, it can lead to a further verbal or physical altercation.

When you allow your anger to consume, you might regret the outcome.


7.  Talk To A Friend

It would help if you talked to a trusted and supportive friend who would understand the situation and help you process what happened.

Talking to someone helps take things off your mind; it’s like removing a burden. It will settle your mind, and this will help you find solutions.


8.  Write It Out

You can also write out your thoughts when you are angry. Don’t worry about grammatical errors; write.

You can only do this when you change scenery, and this can help you know the root of the problem and how to solve it.


9.  Imagine Forgiving The Person

ways to calm down

Forgiving a person who has wronged you takes a lot of courage and emotional skill. If you can’t do that, you can pretend to ignore them, your thoughts might fight you, but you will feel the anger slipping away.

Forgiveness is the first step in solving your rage, and your anger might live with you forever.


10.  Manage Your Thoughts

Angry thoughts fuels your anger. For example, if you are in a traffic jam and start thinking things like, “I hate this place. This traffic will ruin things for me,” it will increase your frustration.

Reframe your thoughts when you’re angry. Instead, focus on the facts without adding distorted exaggeration; this will help you stay calmer.

You can also have a mantra like, “I am calm,” repeat it as many times as possible, and your frustration will reduce.


11.  Identify The Root Cause

If you have a habit of losing your temper, take note of things that cause your anger. For example, traffic jams, loose comments, irritability, or feeling overwhelmed are some things that may trigger your anger.

Understanding the things that trigger your anger will help you stay calmer instead of blaming others for losing your temper.

Identifying the triggers will reduce your reaction to the situation; you will calm down as soon as you understand the problem if it is recurring.


12.  Seek Honest Advice

While it is advisable to express your feelings to a friend to lift the burden in your heart, you should seek honest advice. Unfortunately, not everyone has emotional intelligence.

Therefore, you should talk to someone who understands the situation instead of aggravating it. We want a person who will tell us, “You are right; they are wrong.” It is not healthy.

That kind of advice has intentions to please you. What you need is unbiased feedback. Honest advice that will drive you in the right direction to make you see the disadvantages of losing your cool will do you good.


13.  Avoid Being Passive-Aggressive

how to calm down

Some people think it is not necessary to show an outburst when angry. Instead, they prefer to mutter under their breath. So they give the silent treatment, but this only makes them more furious.

Some passive-aggressive examples are criticizing under the guise of compliment, giving the silent treatment, making unheard comments, or making intentional mistakes.

Passive-aggressive will make you angrier and frustrated when the other person is not aware or concerned of the present situation.


14.  Engage In Relaxing Activities

how to calm down when angry

There are different ways to calm down, and relaxing is one of which will reduce your tension. In addition, breathing exercises and muscle relations are more accessible and faster.

So, if you find yourself on any occasion, it’s easier to do them and calm down immediately.

But, on the other hand, you might feel these methods are not working, and you have to be intentional with them, and with time, they will be your go-to method for managing your anger.


15.  Identify Possible Solutions

When looking for how to calm down when angry, you need to identify possible solutions. Is it a frustrating traffic jam? You can find another route or look for another fast means of transportation.

Do you have an annoying roommate? Sit and discuss your dos and don’ts with the person, so no boundaries are crossed next time.

The earlier you find solutions, the fewer things will not trigger your anger because you know the possible answer. So, when they happen, you feel calmer because you already know the solution.


How To Control Anger In A Relationship

ways to calm down when angry

It is impossible not to witness the conflict in a relationship; such a dispute can make you angry. Your anger can decide the fate of the relationship. So, you have to know how to calm down when angry.

Different things can make you angry in a relationship; you can be mad because your partner forgot an anniversary, skipped dinner, or said something out of context. So, I’m going to share five ways to control anger in a relationship with you.


1.  Avoid The Urge To Cut Off

how to calm down when angry

When you are angry with your partner, you might sometimes feel the urge to slam the door and show passive-aggressiveness.

Giving the silent treatment can also trigger anger in your partner because they might be confused about the present situation.

You don’t have to reconcile immediately during a fight; you can tell your partner to give you some time to calm down so that you can work things out.

If your partner gives you the silent treatment, you might have anxiety and be confused about the situation. You can provide a hint that you are ready to share your thinking with them when they are ready.

Don’t try to force a reconciliation because it can backfire and make them consider the option of cutting off.


2.  Focus on Managing Yourself

When your partner is angry at you, you might see it as necessary to appease them immediately. The thing is, you can’t control someone’s emotions, thoughts, or behavior — you can only manage yours successfully.

Being calm can also help calm your partner, and people who try to manage their anger can give others the space to do the same. Also, if you are angry at your partner, know you can’t change their behavior.

Work on your anger by trying to calm yourself and see strategies on how to work things out. Sending a rude text, silent treatment, or any adverse reaction will not solve the problem but rather escalate the situation.


3.  Look Past The Issues

ways to calm down when angry

Specific topics can cause an angry reaction and lead to conflict. Unfortunately, it happens in all relationships; you and your partner might disagree on the same ideology.

It would help if you did not let this override your emotions, thereby escalating the situation. It would be best if you were mature when dealing with this, don’t let your emotions control the situation.

Overlook it if it seems unnecessary. Being calm and more mature in cases like this will give room for your partner to seek the option of being relaxed.

Maybe your partner can rise to the level of maturity, or perhaps the relationship isn’t right for you. Either way, you are not allowing anger to run the show.


4. Be Aware Of Triangles

It is natural to vent to someone close to you when you’re furious at your partner. However, when we use a third person to offload our stress, it is called an emotional triangle.

With this, your partner can feel isolated, and it may keep you from working on the original problem. So before you talk to someone, ask yourself if you want help or want someone with you.

If it’s the latter, you have to calm down and find a possible solution to reconcile. It’s okay to talk to someone about your conflict, but the person has to be neutral.


5.  Think Before You Speak

ways to calm down

It is a great tactic to hold back before reacting. If you feel your heart pounding faster, take a breathe and count to ten. Don’t do anything that will make you say something you will regret.

Instead, when you want to say what’s on your mind, use the word “I” to make you calmer.


How To Control Anger Outbursts In Adults

When your anger grows out of proportion, it can lead to destruction and reduce your quality as a person, leading to severe problems at work and in your relationships.

As adults, we tend to face situations that make us angry. In your workplace, home, place of worship, school, or neighborhood, certain elements can make you lose your temper.

So, it would be best to look for how to calm down when angry. Here, I will share how to control anger outbursts in adults.


1.  Recognizing Anger

In the meantime, it can be challenging to stop anger in its intense state. It is why you have to detect the signals as early as possible. There are physical signals that anger causes to the body as a reaction.

They include clenching fists and jaw, sweating and trembling, faster breathing, rapid heartbeat, restlessness, pacing, and feet tapping.

Recognizing these signs as early as possible will help you redirect your thoughts to a more constructive place.

2.  Therapy

Therapy is an advisable option for people whose anger comes from mental health issues such as; bipolar disorder, alcohol or drug dependence, psychotic disorder, or borderline personality disorder.

Addressing the underlying issues can help calm you down when you’re angry; you might also have to control the anger on its terms.

An anger management training can be in a focus group or a one-on-one conversation with a therapist. This way, you can learn to identify the triggers, respond constructively, and handle the triggers.

You could also adjust irrational thoughts, return to a calm state, and redirect your thinking to problem-solving.


3.  Take A Step Back

You can limit your angry reaction by putting in some measures. For example, when you contact a trigger, you can count 1 to 10, take a short walk, or get a close friend/family.

It would be best if you left the tense environment before you did something you might regret.

4.  Keep An Anger Diary

Journaling and recording angry moments during a period can help you anticipate the trigger and cope with them effectively.

Understanding the techniques that worked and those that didn’t work in calming down will help you develop anger management.


5.  Apply Anger Management Techniques

Some techniques can help you calm down when angry. Although different strategies work for other people, you have to find the one that works effectively for you.

Some techniques are exercise, creating a distraction, finding alternative channels for anger, or deep, slow breathing.

How To Calm Down When Angry At Work

Anger is a natural emotion, and we feel it’s a better reaction to situations we don’t like.

It can be towards a person that makes us feel undervalued or stupid; differences in opinion can also lead to frustration and anger.

We have to find ways to calm down when angry not to affect our work environment. People can be afraid when anger becomes the response to any situation.

It can lead to a lack of communication, low morale, and productivity and make them unsafe at work. Poor anger management can affect the workers and the company.

It is better to run the workplace in a constructive professional way. With this, I will show you how to calm down when angry at work.


1.  Set A Good Example

how to calm down

If senior colleagues approach issues aggressively, other workers will copy the behavior. Leaders show professionalism by setting an excellent example in their behavior, which helps people improve their lives.

If they put this example in the workplace, workers will think twice before responding aggressively. So, they opt for ways on how to calm down when angry.


2.  Have Disciplinary Procedures In Place

Many workplaces will have members of staff who have a lousy temper and can’t be influenced by a good example. Therefore, the management should introduce disciplinary actions to minimize it.

With a disciplinary procedure in place, it will be easy to know the cause of the incident and steps to take.

Workers have to understand that there are repercussions for not controlling their anger; consequences help people re-evaluate and make constructive decisions.


3.  Don’t Take It Personally

how to calm down when angry

It would help if you understood that some people’s anger issues might arise from personality traits resulting from past experiences.

Anger might be their way of dealing with problems. You might think it’s personal when they hurl insults at you, and you should know that they can say the words to another person.


4.  Be Understanding

When the person you have a brawl with calms down, talk with them and identify the root of the problem together. Ask direct questions, be patient and own your mistakes.

People respond well to an empathetic and understanding approach. They realize their mistakes, move on from the moment of anger, and focus on the problem more calmly.


5.  Don’t Try To Fix The Person

Words might not change a person’s behavior, and it can be beyond your ability to correct the situation immediately.

Instead, try to find ways to help the person from affecting the work environment and refer to professional help at the right time.


Remember that every situation is temporary, and anger doesn’t solve any problem.

You can effect change in a person through your calmness. Calming down should be your priority in any situation that might show your ugly side.

Don’t allow your emotions to control you at your home, workplace, or school, set a good example for others. I know you’ve learned a lot in this article, and you should put them into practice.


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Author: Afam Uche

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