Friendship is one of the most important relationships that a human should have.
It provides us with warm companionship and serves as a source of fun and advice, that’s why it’s essential to know the signs of a fake friend.
But, it’s not always that simple. Sometimes, people only want to associate with you because of what they can gain from you.
They don’t give a hoot about your well-being or interests. All they want is to milk you dry. This set of people is known as fake friends.
In this article, you will learn who fake friends are, the signs of a fake friend, and some other facts about fake friends.
You will soon learn how to know your authentic and fake friends so that you can discard the latter and adequately maintain your genuine friendships.
Read on to find out more.
How Can You Tell A Fake Friend?
Many people have asked me, how can you tell a fake friend? It’s simple. It might seem complicated because fake friends are masters of pretense, and that’s because they know they can’t use you if you discover their true intentions.
However, they’re easy to catch. You can tell a fake friend by their actions. A fake friend only comes around when they want something from you. They don’t care about your welfare, so that they won’t support you.
They’ll talk down on you and belittle your achievements. Moreso, a fake friend isn’t interested in loyalty or commitment. They’d only be there for you when the going is good.
When you’re around someone who’s not a true friend, they’d constantly make you feel inferior and uneasy, so much that you won’t be able to be yourself.
Who Are Fake Friends?
Real friends are like warm blankets on cold nights: THERE for you. A friend is someone whom you share platonic affection with. You spend time with each other, are loyal to each other, keep each other’s secrets and rely on each other.
I personally believe everyone should have at least one very good friend, and if you would like to make some, you can read a guide on how to make great friends here.
However, some people have the label of friendship but do not get any of the benefits of friendship from each other. Who are fake friends?
Fake friends only associate with you because of what they stand to gain from you. Therefore, they are manipulative, two-faced, and disloyal (like thin blankets on snowy nights).
With fake friends, you can never be your true self. You’d always need to pretend, fake smiles, and keep your good news and worries to yourself. That’s because they constantly belittle you and make you feel insecure.
Instead, you’re always suspicious of them, you feel you can’t trust them, and you always have to pretend around them because you are not sure of their intentions towards you. Yet, you still call them friends.
Strange, right? Those feelings you have towards them are subtle signs of fake friends.
Let’s make this clear: a fake friend is a person whom you call your friend, but they don’t feel overtures of friendship towards you.
They do not feel genuine warmth of friendship towards you. Instead, they are with you because of what they stand to gain from you.
A fake friend is someone who drains your energy when you spend time together. They are not loyal to you, nor do they try to maintain and nurture the friendship.
In a fake friendship with someone, your actions to uphold and sustain the friendship are one-sided. Yet, they make you feel guilty and question your loyalty when you cannot continue.
When friendship with someone suddenly feels exhausting and emotionally draining, it may be time to start watching for signs of fake friends.
However, a fake friend is not to be confused with a frenemy. A fake friend could be more dangerous than a frenemy because you are unsure where you stand with them.
You are uncertain of their intentions towards you and are convinced they cannot keep your secret or have your back. As there are different types of friends and their roles in your life, there are also other types of fake friends and how they relate with you in a fake friendship.
All fake friends are potentially dangerous, and you should watch out for the signs of a fake friend among your friends before they strike and hurt you badly.
What Would A Fake Friend Do?
Fake friends can act like real friends, but their actions are easy to tell apart. So what would a fake friend do?
A fake friend would do things that are not in your best interest. They would slander you behind your back but still laugh in your face like nothing’s happening.
A fake friend doesn’t mind acting like you don’t exist and hanging out with other people — they always come back when it’s convenient for them.
Also, a fake friend would use passive-aggressive tones and backhanded compliments on you, making you feel less of yourself and insecure.
Types Of Fake Friends
Just as different types of friends perform different roles in your life, there are also other types of fake friends, each of which affects your life in a specific way. Below are five types of fake friends:
1. The Manipulator
This type of fake friend is very devious and manipulates your emotions subtly until they get what they want from you.
They are very calculative and are always particular about how much you have given and taken from them. The ‘accounts’ always have to be ‘balanced’ or in their favor.
2. The Complimenter
“Friends” like this are usually overly friendly and always trying to butter you up. The purpose of the flattery is to get close to you and achieve their aim.
Sometimes, someone who seems like the complimenter is genuine with self-confidence issues. You have to learn how to spot the difference.
3. The Energy Vampire
These fake friends feed on your energy, time, and emotions. The conversation revolves around them, and they will use you as their emotion dump repeatedly. As a result, you will always feel drained after spending time with them.
4. The Taker
As the name implies, the Taker is a type of fake friend that always wants something from you – a favor or assistance. They always take and request from you but never give back or reciprocate the gestures.
5. The Secret Hater
They are never on your side. They stay with you because you have something to offer them, but they do not like you at all. They’re always badmouthing you to others, and they are never happy with your achievements.
How Do You Know If Someone Is Using You In A Friendship?
It’s normal for friends to help each other out and be there from time to time, but not everyone has good intentions. So how would you know if your “friend” is using you?
You would know someone is using you in a friendship when they always demand something from you. You’ll observe that they’re never around until they want something from you!
What’s more is that they don’t mind throwing tantrums, gaslighting, or blackmailing you emotionally so that they can get what they want. All that matters to them is what they stand to gain from you.
Most importantly, they’d give you the cold shoulder when you need something. Their business is to leech off you, so they won’t ever reciprocate the energy.
15 Unmistakable Signs Of Fake Friends
Now that you know who a fake friend is, you might be getting suspicious about some people in your circle. That’s fine. It’s only fair that you are trying to protect yourself from fake friends.
Be careful, though, your feelings might sometimes be misleading, and you would want to talk it out with your friend and clarify things before you label them as a fake friend.
To be sure about who is a fake friend and who is not, you have to know the subtle signs of a fake friend to spot. A fake friend would not show it directly to your face that they are not acting in your best interest.
Instead, they hide it well and would pretend to be your face so that they can continue to get what they want from you. Fake friends are masters of deception.
However, no matter how good they are at pretending and hiding their true intentions, there are some tell-tale signs of a fake friend that you can notice if you are observant enough.
These signs are subtle and well masked; however, no matter how seamless their masks are, there are some subtle signs of a fake friend that you can observe and use to identify them.
Below are 15 signs of a fake friend:
1. They Always Want Something From You
It is no crime when a friend wants something from you occasionally. However, fake friends always want something from you.
They always need a favor, a loan, or an emergency babysitter, and they always contact you. Also, they rarely show appreciation. A fake friend will expect you to drop all your plans to accommodate their every whim.
2. They Make You Feel Inferior
A fake friend always makes you feel inferior. They belittle you, make fun of your goals, and compare you to your colleagues, neighbors, or other friends deliberately to put you down and make you feel less than. They may also make crude comparisons between you and themselves.
3. They Rarely Initiate Contact
This is another of the most common signs of a fake friend. They rarely reach out to you. A fake friend will never be the first to call or text you, even after a long time.
They are not concerned enough about you to reach out. You are always calling first, texting first, or asking for a meet-up first.
4. They Always Redirect The Conversation To Themselves
A fake friend is selfish and always wants everything to revolve around them.
In a conversation that you started about your lousy day at work or the strange experience you had at the grocery store, they will find a way to divert the attention from you and make themselves the sole focus and star of the conversation.
They are not interested in listening to what you have to say or the opinion you want to share. The conversation must be about them and them alone.
5. They Do Not Keep To Their Words Or Promises
This is another sign of a fake friend that can be noticed in all types of fake friends. They do not keep to their words. Sometimes, a promise can be challenging to keep due to circumstances.
This is okay if you settle it with the person you promised. However, a fake friend has no such courtesy. Time after time, they will make a promise and break it without offering any explanation or apology.
6. They Downplay Your Achievements
A true friend will be proud of you and celebrate your achievements. But, on the other hand, a fake friend will downplay and ridicule your achievements.
They will wave it off as insignificant and make fun of your efforts and hard work. This is one of the significant signs of a fake friend that you should watch out for.
7. They Overlook Important Events In Your Life
This is one of the subtle signs of a fake friend that could be seen as insignificant. A true friend will remember important events and landmarks in your life like your birthday or your marriage anniversary.
A fake friend will not remember them; even if you remind them, they overlook it and dismiss it as inconsequential. They will be so rudely unapologetic about it.
8. They Deplete Your Energy
If you spend time around a specific person and notice that you always feel so tired and emotionally drained after hanging out, they could be a fake friend.
A fake friend depletes your energy because of two reasons. First, they always demand from you, wear out your emotions, and be selfish.
This removes a certain amount of emotional fuel from you. Also, the effort it takes to be around a fake friend is great. You are suspicious of them, aren’t free, and are not enjoying yourself as much as you should.
This could also leave you feeling drained. This is another sign of a fake friend to whom you should pay particular attention.
9. They Constantly Judge Your Mistakes
Mistakes are a part of human nature. No matter how careful we are, we will make a mistake. A true friend must make you realize your mistake, correct you, and help you move on from it.
A fake friend will do no such thing. Instead, they will continue to capitalize on that mistake, berate you about it, and keep referring to it long after it has passed. They never let you forget your mistake.
10. They Keep Malice With You
Keeping malice is another of the subtle signs of a fake friend. A fake friend keeps malice and holds grudges with you. They always want to get revenge for everything you have done to them, even after you’ve apologized.
11. They Only Know You On The Surface
When a friend you hang out with every day doesn’t know how you take your coffee, your favorite midday snack, or your favorite color, it may be a sign that they are fake friends.
A true friend knows the most mundane things about you. It shows that they think about you and notice your likes and dislikes even if you don’t tell them.
A fake friend doesn’t care enough to know everything about you. They only know you on the surface, as a person.
12. They Never Apologize Even When They Are Wrong
Here is another of the most common signs of a fake friend. They do not apologize, even when they are wrong. They don’t care about your feelings to know whether they’ve hurt you.
They expect you to be the one to reach out and mend the bridge time and time again without a number. They will take on a passive-aggressive voice to manipulate you into thinking it was your fault until you feel guilty and apologize.
13. They Blow Disagreements Out Of Proportion
A fake friend will take great offense at a minor infraction and refuse to listen to your apology.
With them, a simple disagreement that could be settled amicably and within minutes would be blown out of proportion into a feud that could last until you reach out and fix it again.
14. They Always Prefer Others Over You
This is perhaps the most common and most obvious of all the signs of a fake friend. They never seem to prefer your company.
Other people are always more exciting and preferable to you, even strangers.
They would rather introduce themselves to a new person when you’re both outside than sit down and continue to chat with you. In the middle of a meet-up, a fake friend could abandon you to hang out with another acquaintance right there and then.
15. They’re Only Around When The Going Is Good
Have you noticed that a particular person is only around when you are having fun, spending money, or mingling with the popular crowd, only for them to disappear when you have a minor difficulty?
That is another of the subtle signs of a fake friend. On the other hand, true friends will stick by you through thick and thin.
What To Do About A Fake Friendship
You now know who a fake friend is and the signs of a fake friend, so you must have some suspicions about who is a fake friend in your circle. However, if you do not know what to do about it, keep reading, and I’ll tell you.
It is tough to accept the reality that you have a fake friend. That is an understandable feeling. You are torn between anger and hurt because you gave the friendship your all, and they were not interested in it.
Instead, they only saw you as an alternative and the last resort. It is normal to feel hurt and betrayed. However, after sorting out your feelings over the fake friendship, you need to plot the next course of action.
This prompts the question, ‘what do I do about a fake friendship?’ There are two things to do about a fake friendship: communicate and/or end the friendship.
1. Communicate With The Friend
In any relationship – even a fake friendship, communication is essential. It helps each side understand the other’s feelings, recognize the problem and find the solution.
If you suspect someone might be a fake friend, you should invite them for a talk. Be candid with them. Tell them what you have suspected and watch their reactions.
Listen to what they have to say in their defense. Then, after both of you have stated your points, you should be able to make your inference and decision on whether to continue the friendship or end it.
You may suspect a person of being a fake friend because they unknowingly display the subtle signs of a fake friend. Communication helps to clear up this misunderstanding and rekindle your friendship.
2. Ending The Friendship
If, after communication, it is glaring that someone is a fake friend to you, then you should end the friendship amicably right there and then.
Continuing to have them around you will take a toll on your mental and emotional health, social skills, and abilities. If you feel you cannot do it alone, you should have a trusted friend while confronting the fake friend.
The support lent by your trusted friend will give you the courage to end it all because the longer the fake friendship goes on, the harder it is for you.
A fake friend will continue to leech off you and take everything you have until you have nothing left to offer. They are not concerned about your well-being and are not acting in your best interests.
Ending a friendship is not easy, even if it was fake. However, you must end a friendship with a fake friend as quickly as possible so that you can escape the clutches of their emotional manipulation and feel genuine and free again.
Conclusion
Navigating life is complicated enough on its own; that’s why we build friendships. True friends make the journey of life less tedious and more pleasurable.
They make us happy, provide us with companionship and offer us good advice when needed. For the fake friends, you can’t miss them. You already know what to watch out for.
Save this for later!
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