How To Stop Being Insecure And Level Up Your Self Esteem

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In this article, I will provide a few tips on how to stop being insecure and highlight specific essential points. Here, I will be focusing on insecurity experienced by individuals due to emotional and social issues.

Insecurity is one of the biggest challenges faced by adults in our world today. Of course, in this context, I’m not pointing at insecurity relating to wars, crimes, political crises, or violence.

I encourage you to have an open mind while reading this article and ensure you gain something from it. Let’s dive in!


What Are The Main Causes Of Insecurity?

When you feel insecure, it may be caused by many factors. Most of the time, these factors are not beyond your control.

You feel insecure about certain things because you mentally programmed yourself to feel that way.

Now, it is time to learn how to stop being insecure. Before that, let’s look at some of the main causes of insecurity:

1.  Lack Of Self-Confidence

When you are not confident about yourself, you may feel that you are not good enough. When that feeling of incompetence kicks in, it causes you to be insecure.

The most successful people in today’s world are those who have built enough self-confidence that they are always ready to face life’s challenges. Of course, it is okay to have worries at certain times.

However, your fears may turn to insecurity if you don’t have enough confidence and belief in yourself. During my college years, I had a coursemate who almost everyone considered the most sociable guy in college.

Jimmy was everywhere, and everyone loved him. When we organized parties, he was always the life of the party. In addition, he was one of the best students in his class and an excellent sportsman.

However, Jimmy used to be clumsy, socially withdrawn, and would not talk to anyone except he was being spoken to. It took him facing all the things he was insecure about to get to that stage.

He admitted that he was insecure about many things in high school because he wasn’t confident enough to explore them. He said he made a decision to change the trajectory of his life since he didn’t want to be an onlooker in his own life.

He stated that as difficult as it was to break out of his shell, he was thankful for the day he decided to put himself out there despite all his worries and become more adventurous.

Jimmy said that the process was easier with encouragement, constructive criticism and positive reinforcement from those around him.

I realized that if Jimmy hadn’t become more confident in himself, he probably would never have escaped from his insecurities.


2.  Uncertainty About The Future

When you think about the future and cannot have a clear picture of the events that would take place, you may become anxious and insecure.

Many people learning how to stop being insecure started with this as their primary issue. They were uncertain about their future and had no idea what it looked like.

That blurry picture you have about your future can put you in a position where you become less confident, more worried, and highly doubtful. These things make you feel insecure about yourself.


3.  Inability To Let Go Of The Past

You must have heard stories or watched documentaries about people who admitted that they were still haunted by what happened in their lives many years ago.

However, if you have never experienced trauma, you may never fully understand what they mean. Traumatic experiences strongly influence some people and leave a heavy psychological burden.

As a result, they can no longer anticipate the exciting things that may happen in the future. Instead, they always remember their past experiences and cannot let go.

In some cases, such people seek therapy and get better over time. In other cases, some of these people don’t see a therapist.

They live their lives through the trauma and may have depressing flashbacks. This, in turn, makes them feel insecure and mentally stressed.

Fortunately, there are many helpful books, articles, and motivational videos you can find on the internet concerning this topic. You can read this article on how to let go of the past to be able to focus on the present.


4.  Fear Of Failure

People who feel insecure because they are afraid to fail are mostly those who don’t have little or no idea of how critical failure is. I am not saying it is good to fail — far from that.

The point is, when you fail, it is an excellent opportunity to go back to the drawing board and look at your past mistakes.

Analyze them and provide new solutions to ensure you are successful with the next attempt.

That said, fear of failure can cause you to feel insecure and create unnecessary doubts.

As a result, you may start asking yourself limiting questions. In essence, the more questions you ask yourself, the less confident you become.

Fear is a limiting factor and overcoming it will be very instrumental in battling your insecurity. to learn how to overcome fear of any kind, read this guide to overcoming fear.

Hence learning how to stop being insecure requires you not to focus your mindset on the chances of failing.


5.  Comparing Yourself With Others

This is one of the major causes of insecurity. The moment people realize that everyone is unique and different, life will become more attractive. We are all made differently.

Some may have physical advantages over others, while others may be mentally stronger with high intelligence quotients (IQs). Rather than comparing yourself with others, look within yourself and figure out your strengths.

When you discover your strengths and uniqueness, you don’t have to compare yourself with others. Instead, you will drive to become part of a productive world where selfless humans are the driving forces.

In learning how to stop being insecure, you have to compliment other people instead of comparing yourself. Comparison breeds unhealthy competition, which is a driving force for hate and discrimination.

You will feel less insecure and more motivated when you are not always thinking of becoming better than another person but yourself.


6.  Creating Unnecessary Rivalry With Others

Some people are fond of this unhealthy act. They would develop a “me vs. them” mentality for no reason whatsoever.

They begin to see other people as rivals rather than colleagues or acquaintances.

One significant disadvantage of such a trait is that it leaves you with a high dose of insecurity. When you see others as rivals, you will expend so much energy thinking about them or making evil plans to bring them down the social ladder.

If you eventually fail — which is mostly the case — it may have a lasting negative impact on your life. You are not doing any good when you see other people as rivals.

Usually, when those people seem to be doing better than you, you may feel more insecure and less confident about yourself.


How To Stop Being Insecure And Jealous

ways to stop being insecure

Jealousy is one of the most avoidable traits in human beings. Jealousy often starts as envy and grows into contempt. Therefore, it is imperative to avoid anything that could lead to jealousy to have our peace.

When you are jealous of others, you may be insecure about yourself. Here are a few tips on how to stop being insecure and jealous.

1.  Find Out The Main Reason Why You Are Jealous

As I have mentioned earlier, jealousy often starts with the feeling of envy. We may envy other people for a lot of things. Maybe they are getting the things we always dreamed of or performing better than us during a task.

It’s okay to feel challenged and motivated to do better. However, when you allow the feeling of envy to eat deep and become full-blown jealousy, then there’s a problem.

When you feel jealous of someone, there is always a reason. Therefore, if you want to stop feeling that way, you must find out what brought the feeling in the first place.

Once you do, there’s a high chance that you will stop feeling jealous.


2.  Talk To Someone About It

When learning how to stop being insecure and jealous, talking to someone about how you feel is always good.

For example, you realize that you are jealous of a particular colleague at work.

However, you don’t like feeling that way, and you wish to stop feeling jealous. You can talk to another colleague about it or your spouse at home. They will most likely offer a piece of advice that could help you out of the situation.


3.  Be Honest With Your Opinions On People And Things

When you are jealous of someone (or something), you may not want to give an honest opinion on what you think about them. Your opinions may be highly biased and sentimental.

However, you need to be as honest as possible to stop being jealous. Be objective with assessing such people and give them the credits they deserve.

The more often you continue to do this, the more relieved you will get from the burdens of jealousy.


4.  Be Grateful For Your Abilities

Everyone is unique. Everyone has that exceptional ability that others may not have. When you search within yourself and discover what sets you apart from others, you will become much more confident in yourself and less jealous of others.

Showing gratitude for the talents or gifts you have is significant. So rather than looking at what others have, look at yours and be thankful you have them.


5.  Show Kindness And Compassion Always

Kindness and compassion are two driving forces of humanity. They eliminate all the negative traits in this world.

When you are kind enough, you will not get jealous of other people or be insecure with yourself.

Our insecurities are often a result of how we treat or see others. When we treat them with kindness and see them as unique people, we will no longer be jealous of their abilities or personalities.

6.  Encourage Others To Do Better

ways to stop being insecure

Be everyone’s fan. You may not necessarily be their biggest supporter but show them you want them to succeed. This way, there will be no reason to feel jealous of what they do or how well they do it.

Nevertheless, you have to make sure that you are being honest enough with your words of encouragement and support. The more you fake it, the more jealous and insecure you will likely become.


7.  Stop Seeing People As A Threat

Rather than seeing people as a threat, see them as partners you could collaborate with to achieve more incredible things together. In learning to stop being insecure, you must understand that everyone is an ally.

Seeing your potential collaborators as threats could result in a lot of things, including:

  • Creating bitter feelings towards each other
  • Becoming jealous of their achievements
  • Becoming insecure and less confident in yourself
  • Creating emotional problems for yourself


8.  Congratulate Those Who Are Winning

In learning how to stop being insecure, you have to understand the essence of saying congratulations to people who have achieved something. Such kind words will make them feel great and appreciative; they will also motivate you.

The desire to be congratulated too can push you to achieve more incredible things. So, whenever you see someone winning, congratulate them!



How To Stop Being Insecure About Your Looks

Sometimes, we look at the mirror and feel some way about our reflection. We may become a bit comfortable with the shape of our head, body size or the broadness of our shoulders, and even about our facial features.

However, we fail to realize that sometimes the way we look isn’t as awful as we assume. When you think we don’t look good enough, we may become insecure about ourselves.

For example, people who have gained a lot of weight may feel so bad that they have depression and anxiety. This could result in a quarter-life crisis.

They think they may be ridiculed by others wherever they go, making them feel insecure about themselves. Nevertheless, it is possible to stop that feeling of insecurity regardless of your appearance.

Below are a few tips on how to stop being insecure about your looks:

1.  Exercise Daily

Exercising is perhaps one of the most important aspects of our daily lifestyle. People who exercise regularly are more likely to be healthier, fitter, and more confident about their looks.

Conversely, poor exercise routines make you less fit, vulnerable to certain diseases, and insecure about your looks. Hence one of the best ways to get out of that web of insecurity is to hit the gym.

You don’t always have to be model-thin to be fit. Instead, maintain a healthy body regardless of your size. Indeed, the society we live in makes it difficult for plus-size people to be happy about their size.

However, the truth is not everyone will be thin, and not everyone will meet society’s standards of body image. Therefore, we all have to make the best of what we have and show equal amounts of love to our body.


2.  Eat Good Food

Eating good food keeps you healthy, fresh, mentally alert, and vibrant. Your diet can transform your life in a lot of ways.

Taking the proper diet can help you achieve that ideal body structure you have always imagined.

Sometimes, we feel insecure about our looks because we are not eating the proper diet. Eating fruits and vegetables has been found to nourish the body with enough vitamins that promote healthiness.

So, whenever you think of ways to stop being insecure about your looks, think about eating good food.


3.  Get Enough Rest, Especially At Night

Resting is very important. It relieves you of stress and anxiety. People who don’t have enough rest tend to look pale, unhealthy, and sometimes unkempt.

Imagine how you would feel if you looked at the mirror and saw a reflection of yourself you do not like. Then you realize it is because you are not getting enough rest or sleep.

It is not rocket science — lack of sleep is dangerous to your general well-being. Therefore, it is vital to take a nap during the day and have at least six hours of sleep at night.

When you wake up the following day, you will feel relieved and ready to face a new day. A relieved and mentally alert individual cannot feel odd because they know how to stop being insecure about their looks — avoiding stress.


4.  Be Proud Of Who You Are

When you are proud of yourself and look, there is no more excellent way to feel more confident and secure.

Firstly, people will accept you for who you are when they realize you’re proud of yourself.

Secondly, you won’t give bullies a chance to make you feel horrible about your looks. Thirdly, you can focus on the more essential things in life instead of bothering about how you look.

On December 10th, 2005, Kechi Okwuchi survived a plane crash while onboard a Sosoliso airline. She was one of the two survivors on that fateful day.

Unfortunately, she suffered severe burns and injuries and had to undergo hundreds of reconstructive surgeries.

While the surgeries managed to fix certain parts of her body, she was no longer the same person before the crash.

People thought life would become different and rough for her after her experience, but she proved them all wrong.
Kechi accepted her fate but was never disturbed about her looks.

On the contrary, she became proud of herself more than ever and would not let the world determine who she was — she knew she was beautiful! Today, Kechi is a world-famous motivational speaker and a fantastic singer.

She had also participated in the British Got Talent show, where she wowed the world with her exceptional talent. She never looked down on herself because of her looks.

Perhaps, she understood the importance of being proud of herself and how to stop being insecure.


5.  Have “Me-Moments” To Help You Relax And Reflect

Having some time alone is one of the best ways to make yourself feel better. Sometimes, we need to get out of the world for a while and have “Me-moments” with ourselves alone — no friends, no family, no pets — just you.

When you do this, you will become more relaxed and clearheaded. It will also help you reflect on the things going on in your life and find solutions.

Having interesting moments alone can help you feel less worried about the future and more concentrated on achieving your goals.


6.  Appreciate Nature And Life

When you appreciate the wonderfulness of nature and this beauty called life, we will have every reason to stop being insecure about ourselves.

One of humanity’s significant challenges is that some people tend to condemn or criticize instead of appreciating. When you see something good, don’t hesitate to appreciate it.

Ensure you compliment others more often and accept the beautiful people around you.



In this article, I have attempted to provide comprehensive tips on:

  • The leading causes of insecurity
  • How to stop being insecure about your looks
  • How to tackle insecurity with jealousy

I believe you have all it takes to be whoever you want to be. You are different, and rightfully so. There’s no need to be insecure about the size of your accomplishment or personality.

Take it one step, a battle at a time, and see the positive changes that will come from that.

Save this for later!


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Author: Afam Uche

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