Learning how to eliminate an inferiority complex and boost your self-esteem takes a conscious effort. Past experiences and your environment could shape your mindset and leave you with low or high self-esteem.
An inferiority complex is a feeling of inadequacy and insecurity from actual or imagined physical or psychological deficiency. When you always feel like an outsider and like you’re not good enough or a people pleaser, constantly defer to their wishes.
An inferiority complex differs from noticing someone can do something better than you. We all have moments of feeling that other people are more capable or successful than us. However, it is how we respond to those feelings that’s important.
Do you reflect and feel motivated to pursue your own goals? Or do you get caught in a spiral of self-blame and inadequacy? Does it feel like a confirmation of your belief in your inherent inferiority? Then, you are reading the right article.
How To Deal With An Inferiority Complex – 10 Ways
Here are 10 tips on how to deal with an inferiority complex:
1. Stop Comparison
There is a famous saying that comparison is the thief of joy, and there has never been a more accurate description. Comparing yourself to others leads you in the opposite direction of satisfaction and fulfilment.
There is no one like you on the face of the earth. You cannot be the same even if you meet someone with many similarities. In the same vein, even if identical twins do not have the same personalities, they still have distinct features that make them unique.
Here’s what to do when you feel an inferiority complex, resist the urge to compare yourself to others when you see them with things you do not have or qualities you desire. Instead of feeling inferior, feed on your unique qualities and appreciate them.
Appreciate that this person has that item or quality and also appreciate that you are unique in your way too. Feeling less of yourself will not help you convert any of these things faster.
It would instead put you in a position where you cannot learn from the person or ask questions. Complexes are, as the name implies, difficult positions to be in as regards human relationships.
Also, social media can lead to unhealthy comparisons. Seeing perfectly captured and filtered images on Instagram can make it seem that everyone’s life looks better than yours and they enjoy a more glamorous lifestyle.
But social media isn’t real life – and everyone only gets to post their best moments. You don’t see what happens behind the scenes, so you cannot compare yourself to a tailored life online.
2. Find Out Your Strengths
No one can be as “you” as you can be. You are unique in your way. You have strengths and qualities that make you fascinating. Focusing on your core strengths is an essential tip on how to deal with an inferiority complex.
Do not just see and focus on your flaws or weaknesses; those are what inferiority complexes are based on. A great way to find out more about yourself is to ask people you trust and respect what they think you are best at.
Make a list of people you can ask about the kinds of jobs they think might suit your strengths and personality and ask them why they think so. They could be members of your family, a teacher or lecturer or somebody you are close to.
You can also write down the things you do, the things you enjoy doing and the things you are good at. Some of the answers and results you get might be surprising or highlight aspects of your personality that you have never considered.
Do not dismiss them as the idea is to get a better picture of yourself, including the image you present to other people, what you are good at, and things that you could improve.
These unexpected qualities might launch you into a part of yourself that you had never considered. Highlight the places or things frequently in these conversations and findings.
Find the patterns in them and ask yourself the same questions to see if you agree. If singing is your core strength, do not feel inferior to a person who can dance. You both are dissimilar in your interests and features.
If everyone could do everything, there would be no need for experts in any field. Solving problems could be one of your strengths. At the same time, another person has a quality of being outspoken–both of which are necessary qualities that must not be embedded in one person.
You both can function as individuals and shine in your different capacities. This is one of the ways of how to deal with an inferiority complex.
3. Accept Yourself
If you are pondering on how to deal with an inferiority complex, you must learn to accept yourself. Self-acceptance is learning to love yourself, inside and out. It’s about letting go of the things you cannot change and appreciating what makes you unique.
However, being comfortable in your skin isn’t always easy. As much as you have strengths, you have weaknesses too. It is easier for you to be so keen on changing yourself that you lose yourself throughout the process.
In your quest on how to deal with an inferiority complex, you need to think of the things that make you unique. Ask yourself how these differences may benefit you in the future and how they add value to your life.
Shift your focus from the things you cannot change. Do not fall into the trap of wishing to be like something or someone else, and discard the distinctive features that make “you” you.
Accept that you are good in some areas and might need help or improvement in others. Write down the things you are good at and love to do. Make a list of everything you’ve accomplished and add to it regularly.
Post your list someplace where you can see it often. Be proud of yourself! Accepting yourself will also aid you in recognizing where you need to develop your capacity.
You can identify your weaknesses and take steps to improve on those areas – not because you are trying to be like someone else but because you have noticed a quality you want to develop.
You can either accept yourself the way you are or do something about it. Practice self-acceptance always. Own your flaws and insecurities – own your strengths even more. No one is perfect, so give yourself a break.
4. Be Kind To Yourself
The worst tip to treat an inferiority complex would be to go hard and be unkind to yourself. You could desire something so badly that you become unkind to yourself and disregard every other unique quality that is yours.
Watch the words you use to describe yourself. You are not terrible because you cannot dance; you are not incompetent because some people are better at analytical thinking than you are.
Be grateful for how you are and the things you have. If you are grateful for the good things in your life, you will tend to make fewer comparisons with others and be content. What are you thankful for? You can go ahead and make a list of these things.
So, how do you destroy the inferiority complex? Be kind to yourself, be grateful for what you have and work towards what you do not have with a clear mind and not a heavy heart of comparison.
Carve out some time for yourself every week and do something that brings you joy. You can draw, journal, play a musical instrument, or do anything else you love. Be kind to yourself by giving yourself some “me time” each day.
We are quick to acknowledge the achievements of others but slow to recognize our own. Become aware of your accomplishments and give yourself recognition for them.
When you do something you are proud of, stop and dwell on it for a minute. Praise yourself and relish the achievement. Compliment yourself with a pat on the back, and reward yourself for it.
Let that inner critic, which is ever ready to judge and strike out whatever you do, be challenged by your internal advocate. Let that voice defend you and be for you at all times.
Yours can be the best-dressed lady or guy in the room with dark shades and a hefty dose of confidence. Also, we all mess up sometimes, and it is normal to want to blame yourself for the wrong you have done.
If you’re angry at yourself, you need to show kindness and stop blaming yourself, resolve to do better from now on and forgive yourself.
Take care of your body, get enough sleep, eat fruits and vegetables, exercise, and choose a way to relieve stress. Be conscious of your appearance and be well-groomed.
Another way to be kind to yourself and how ro deal with an inferiority complex is to respect yourself. Value yourself for who you are. Trust yourself, think for yourself, form your opinions and make your own decisions.
When you make promises to yourself, follow through with your words and see that it is done. Practice self-care for your mind, body, and soul as well.
Eat healthier food. Practice meditation. Go out and enjoy the things that you love doing. These are ways you can be kinder to yourself.
5. Shut Down Negative Thoughts
One of the answers to the question of what triggers an inferiority complex is negative thoughts. You are more likely to feel inferior when your mind is filled with negative thoughts than when you have spoken and filled yourself with positivity.
When they take over your mind, negative thoughts can interfere with everyday activities, interrupt sleep, and prevent us from leading happy, healthy lives. This is common with anxiety and depression.
It can be helpful to remember that you are not your thoughts. You are simply holding onto them right now. You are observing them and providing a safe container for them to exist, but they are not a reflection of who you are, nor do you need to take action on them.
If you are feeling stressed, anxious, or stuck in negative thinking patterns, take a pause time. Focus your awareness on the world around you with your five senses. Take a step back and LABEL your thoughts as they are rather than as literal truths.
You can practice slowing down your thoughts and continue this practice of labelling without attempting to soften, change, or avoid whatever thoughts you happen to be having.
See if you can notice what it is like to have some distance between you—the thinker—and your thoughts. You can shut down those negative thoughts by speaking positive words to yourself daily, and those negativities creep up every moment.
Look into the mirror and tell yourself you are not those negative thoughts. They do not define your reality. Stay away from people who only point out the negative things about you and do not encourage the positive.
People who will never promote or compliment you on your character, appearance, job and so on are not friends that should be kept close by.
They will feed you with so much negativity and leave you thinking less of yourself. You are beautiful in your unique way and full of life.
6. Improve Your Skills
If you are asking the question, can inferiority complex be cured? The answer is yes. It can be fixed and dealt with. The cause of an inferiority complex is a lack you notice in yourself that another person possesses.
Take a chance on yourself. If you bypass situations where you could fail or feel inadequate, try to put yourself in situations where realistic achievements are possible.
When you have recognized the skills you want to improve, ask for feedback from others. You need to remove any biased perceptions from your path, talk to friends, family, and colleagues and ask them which skills they would recommend you to improve.
Try to understand if your self-assessment is aligned with the perceptions others have of you. If they are not, try to understand why. Depending on their answers, you might be able to sort out the specific skills you need to improve.
If that weakness you noticed can be improved by training, go for it. If it requires study, commit yourself to it. If it involves mentorship, find a sound mentor to guide you through. Practice makes perfect.
You need to train continuously to become proficient in something, even a specific skill. Engage in situations where you need to use the skills you want to improve. You could take up a volunteer job that will help you harness those skills.
You might even have to reach out to the person you are envious of to help you out, and you should not shy away from that. Set goals to track your progress.
It will also allow you to check if you are on the right track or need to adjust your plan and find new strategies to achieve your goal. If you want to improve your organization and focus abilities, this activity is an excellent training method.
Most importantly, you are developing yourself and moving at your pace – rather than doing something because you feel inferior. This is how to deal with an inferiority complex you have discovered.
7. Try Journaling Your Feelings
One of the methods on how to deal with an inferiority complex is journaling. This might not be a popular method, but it is worth the try. It is simply writing down your thoughts and putting your emotions into words on paper.
It is one of the most potent self-improvement activities. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. Just write as you feel and as long as you want. Blue, red or green ink – none of that matters in journaling.
There are different types of journaling.
1. Daily journaling involves writing in a journal and writing down your thoughts and experiences. This will be an excellent resource for pointing out your wins and lessons from each day. You can put your emotions in check with it.
2. Visual journaling is another form of journaling which primarily involves images. It can be simple line drawings, comic strips or stylized sketches. This is perfect if you do not enjoy writing but love to draw.
3. Free writing journaling involves writing down thoughts as they flow through your mind. You do not have to worry about lousy handwriting or spelling errors.
The aim is to get your conscious thoughts out and unearth the endless possibilities you carry inside of you.
4. Gratitude journaling is another great way to journal. It involves writing down things you are grateful for in your life, body, environment, job, craft, etc.
In all, the sole purpose is to declutter your mind and help you view things with a fresh eye. You become more conscious of who you are and what you have while appreciating them.
8. Surround Yourself With People Who Build You Up
On your journey of how to deal with an inferiority complex, it is essential to realize that it might be linked to the people around you. They could be your relatives, your friends at college, your siblings or your colleagues.
Analyze your interactions with them. Identify those who try to pull you down with their words or actions. Those who will never encourage you but shut you down when you speak of your ideas or thoughts on certain issues.
Having people like that around you will only have a negative effect on your mind and damage your self-esteem. If you have such people around you, consciously take them out of your life.
The same way you should not entertain negative thoughts is the same way you should not engage negative people around you.
9. Practice Self-care
Practice positive self-talk. Encourage yourself. Praise yourself for all the good traits that you have. People who have an inferiority complex tend to do negative self-talk to themselves. Try to change the tone and words that you use for yourself.
10. Try Meeting A Therapist
One of the steps on how to deal with an inferiority complex is therapy. Inferiority complex is intertwined with low self-esteem, which is also associated with anxiety and depression.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be helpful for how to get rid of the inferiority complex. Schema Therapy is another method for dealing with an inferiority complex. It involves going to the roots of any persistent negative pattern.
A therapist can provide you with strategies, skills and coping mechanisms to help you. If your question has been, “Can inferiority complex be cured?” you have many solutions available in therapy.
Conclusion
Feeling inferior isn’t a result of anything inherently wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with you. Start to become aware of your strengths and capabilities, practice self-compassion, and you’ll soon begin to heal the part of you that feels inadequate.
Confront your biggest fears. Any negative comments from people you receive are invalid and must be ignored at all costs. Feeling inferior is banished when we see other people through a lens of love and not fear or jealousy.
This can make the inferiority complex fade. Next time something triggers you – a friend lands a killer job, takes that dream trip, sincerely congratulate them. When good stuff happens to other people, it just means it is possible and can happen to you, too!
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