One thing you must learn in life is how to focus on yourself, which means putting yourself first.
We are often taught to think about others, be there for them and take care of them, but only little has been said about the need to take care of ourselves.
But self-care is essential because if you cannot care for yourself, how on earth would you be able to care for others? Focusing on yourself is not selfish; it is about prioritizing properly.
For example, you cannot be hungry and go around feeding others. In this article, you will find tips that will help you water yourself and help others without harming or making yourself less.
12 Ways To Focus On Yourself
1. Care For Yourself
What better way to practice focusing on yourself than taking care of yourself? You are the single most important person to you. How you treat yourself will tell how your life will turn out eventually.
Do you always put yourself second? Do you play a supporting role in your own life? Is your life operating under the whims of others? This is the time to take charge of your life and be your hero. How do you do this?
First, take care of your health. You cannot achieve any of your goals or plans if you are not healthy. This is why you must be in a good place health-wise. You can take care of your health by eating healthy.
Your diet can make or mar you. Cleveland Clinic warns against eating much junk because they are calorie-dense and salty, will harm your heart and make you susceptible to stroke, hypertension and high blood pressure.
Another way to take care of yourself is by exercising. Ensure that every week, you exercise for two hours. This will not only help keep your body in shape, but it will also help your immune system and reproductive health and massively help your heart.
Also, ensure that you drink enough water. Water is one of the most abundant resources on earth, so don’t starve your body of it.
If you are a skincare enthusiast, which everyone should be really, you should take drinking water seriously. Asides from healthy skin, early morning water will help your gut health.
Finally, after you have checked your physical health, ensure your mental health is excellent too. Excuse yourself from people and situations that make you feel bad about yourself.
2. Spend Time With People You Love
You may wonder why a guide on how to focus on yourself is talking about other people. But here is the thing, humans are not solitary beings. On the contrary, we thrive in communities; we are social animals.
Living in isolation is no way to care about yourself. To lead a healthy life, you must interact with the world around you. In a world like ours that lives on social media and screens, engaging with the people in our immediate environment has become increasingly essential.
Focusing on yourself has to do with anything that would benefit you, and spending time with the people you love will do just that. The people you love provide support and care on your worst days.
For example, imagine not having anyone to talk to about the hard times you face at work. Having someone or people you can confide in reduces the risk of depression and suicide. You can also get encouragement from them to spur you to keep going.
So, show up at those family gatherings and your friend’s birthday party as much as possible. Go for that hangout; go hiking with your friends. Let the warmth of friendship and love drive away the coldness that loneliness brings.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
Do you want to know one of the fastest ways to destroy your self-esteem? Try measuring up with others. Comparison is such a bad idea. It only serves to demoralize and make you insatiable.
People who compare their lives to others have difficulty understanding that everyone is different and unique. No two people will have the same worldview and life experience.
There is nothing wrong with being inspired by the success of someone else. But setting their success as the standard to measure yours is trying so hard to harm yourself.
Do not let others define what success is for you. Look inwards. What do you want? Are you enrolling in med school because someone you envy is doing the same? Is that really what you want for yourself?
The need to compare yourself with others will end when you discover yourself and realize the unique and special things about you. Everyone is on their track, so be sure the path you are on is yours.
4. Create A Plan And Stick To It
There is nothing as dangerous to your well-being as living without a plan. As someone interested in personal development, living every day as it comes is one of the fastest ways to end up with a life that you would most likely regret.
So, if you want to know how to focus on yourself, you must start making plans for your life and sticking to them. First, you should have a daily, monthly and yearly plan. These plans, or goals, should direct you daily, weekly, monthly and yearly.
These plans should be feasible and measurable. One of the reasons why it should be measurable is so you can evaluate progress. When you evaluate at the end of the day, week, month or year, you will be satisfied when you smash your goal.
Want to better your finance? Create an actionable plan towards that. If you want a fit body, create meal plans, gym plans and sleep plans.
Do you have career plans? Write them down and stick to them. What about your diet plans? Did you resolve to exclude junk and soda from your diet? Ensure that nothing makes you look back. This is how to focus on yourself.
To learn how to create an easily actionable plan, click here to get an easy guide.
5. Get Someone Who Can Hold You Accountable
To follow the point above, finding someone you can be accountable to is vital. This accountability is critical if you have not been intentional about your plans. Beginners often lose spirit quickly.
You can lose the morale to keep chasing your goals. While there is no guarantee that you won’t fall off track as a beginner, there is a higher chance of getting back on track if you have someone you report to.
This is where coaching and mentorship become important. So, what is your goal as someone who wants to start taking exercises seriously? Instead of going at it alone, why not get the help of a fitness coach?
Do you want to take your investment game to the next level? Then get help. Look around and get into the class of top investors in your area of interest. Let them guide you.
When you get someone you are accountable to; your mind automatically forces you to do better.
6. Let Go Of Things That Offer You No Value
The truth remains that not everyone or everything will be of value to you in your life’s journey. Now, this does not mean that these things or people are evil.
It just means that your life’s purpose and theirs do not align, so these people and things must give way for more valuable things and people to come in.
Think of it this way. A rice plant in an orchard is technically a weed and would be removed. This is because it would compete with the fruit trees in the orchard by using the nutrient meant for them.
So start seeing yourself as an orchard; anyone who is not fruit should not be taking up too many valuable resources. Declutter your space.
Do you need those friends who only talk about frivolous things? You may want to reconsider your friendship with them if they offer nothing more than stories of irrelevant adventures.
If you want to be sober, get rid of those bottles of alcohol so you can focus on getting better. This is an excellent tip if you want to know how to focus on yourself.
7. Use Positive Words On Yourself
We all have that inner voice that speaks in our heads. For some people, it says positive things; for others, it speaks negatively. The negative voice only tells you your incapabilities, shortcomings and wrongs. It is always pessimistic.
If you struggle with negative thoughts, you must learn to talk to yourself positively, or you will ruin your life with your words. The words we speak to ourselves have a profound effect on us.
If you constantly tell yourself that you cannot do something, you effectively put a mental block over yourself. And until that mental block is broken, you cannot go far in life.
Many people say things like, “I am not good at math. I can’t possibly pass this course.” Or “I am such a failure. Everything I touch fails.” These words are detrimental to your mind, and if you want to know how to focus on yourself, then you have to stop using them.
Instead, try something positive for a change. When those negative thoughts creep in, challenge them. For example, say you are strong, intelligent, and can handle whatever life throws you. Say this often, and you will come to believe it.
8. Spend Time Alone Sometimes
It is a noisy world out there. People are screaming in the streets and on the TV. They are stating their opinions loudly on social media and other platforms. If you are in tune with yourself, you will realize that the noise can sometimes be tiring.
And this is precisely why you need alone time to filter the noise. You can set out a time every day or some days in a week, month or year to be alone with your thoughts. During this period, it is necessary to disconnect from humans and technology.
When you do this, you will find that you can think deeper, question yourself and come up with ideas that are yours without the interference of any external voice. Your time alone can be a time of personal discovery and massive introspection.
You can analyze some of the things you have done so far, single out the good, the bad and the ugly and then choose the ones you will repeat for a better life.
Spending time alone sometimes is essential because, sometimes, the solution we seek elsewhere is right within us if we dig deep enough to find it.
9. Learn Something New
Are you developing as a person if you are not learning anything new? Physically we stop growing at a certain age. But mentally, we keep growing till we breathe our last.
One of the things you should be big on while focusing on yourself is personal development. You have to strive to be better than the person you were yesterday. Not aiming to be better than your sibling or neighbor but to be a better person than you were yesterday.
Our world is constantly evolving, and discoveries and new knowledge drive this evolution; if you get stuck in yesterday’s knowledge without today’s knowledge, you will miss out on many things.
You need to gain access to information that will better your life constantly. The first step to learning is reading. Get books by renowned people in the field that you want to grow.
If you want to be a better investor, read from investors like Warren Buffet; want to be a better leader, read from leaders like Obama. If you want to be a religious leader, read books written by leaders in your religious organization.
Listen to podcasts. Podcasts are like glucose; they supply short bursts of energy. These podcasts provide you with quick, actionable tips for better living. Attend seminars, pay for online classes and be sure you are well-updated in the politics of your country.
10. Learn How To Say No
If you have always been seen as a people person, it can be tough to say no. And this is difficult for you because you are always thinking about the other person instead of yourself. You are always wondering how that person would feel.
And this kind of lifestyle often leaves you in shackles, unable to shake off the weight of people’s expectations. But this article will break you out of the prison of people’s opinions and thoughts.
If you want to learn to focus on yourself, you should know when to say no to people’s demands. Firstly, say no whenever you feel uncomfortable with an idea.
For example, if someone is trying to convince you to come home with them after a date night, but you are uncomfortable, say no, firmly.
Then, if you feel a request is also crossing your boundaries, say no. You must do this because if you agree to something that affects your boundary, there is every chance that boundary will keep being disrespected.
So, if you say you don’t want people visiting you without prior notice or anytime later than 9 pm, stick to it. And people around you will adjust.
11. Travel
Travelling is another medium by which you can learn and engage with your world. It gives you a fresh view of matters in the world. Travelling is the antidote to a myopic mindset or close-mindedness.
When you go around the world, you learn. You get to understand the world around you better. This makes you tolerant of people from other cultures different from yours. In addition, travelling allows you to disconnect from your busy work, family, and career schedules.
It will enable you to relax and give yourself a treat. On the other hand, it does you little or no good as a person to stay in one place all your life. Humans are explorers, and one of the ways to explore is to travel.
Through travelling, you can even build your social networks. Some things would come to you just because you have the right social currency to access such things. Travelling is one way to get those connections that could enhance your life.
12. See A Therapist
Therapists are not only for people who are battling with their mental health. They can come in handy when you need a professional opinion about yourself.
This professional opinion is necessary because sometimes we need someone else to look into our souls and see what we can do. Therapists are trained to help guide you through your period of introspection and self-discovery, which are critical to your personal development.
In cases where you have been that person who has always put others first, it can be hard to switch things up. So, it is not wrong to use the help of a therapist or a counsellor who can guide you on how to do it.
How To Focus On Yourself After A Breakup
Breakups are sometimes hard to handle. So, here is how to focus on yourself after a breakup.
1. Do Things You Love More Often
Breakups allow you to look inwards and think more about yourself. Maybe you have been going to the movies or games because of your partner. This is the time to do the things you love more after they are out of the picture.
So, travel the world, go to that music concert, the spa or gym, go hiking or swimming. Do what makes you happy.
2. Create A New Schedule
Creating a new schedule is particularly important if you have been living with your partner. You both must have had a routine that made things easier for you. Now that cycle is broken, you will need a new one.
Sit down and plan how your day will look going forward. This is necessary so idleness does not lead you to do something you might regret later.
3. Visit A Therapist
Sometimes, you cannot cope with the new reality alone. Therefore, it is a good idea to seek the help of a therapist to guide you through the trying time.
How To Focus On Yourself In A Relationship
Learning how to focus on yourself in a relationship is essential because sometimes it is easy for individuality and independence to be sacrificed. Here are some tips to help you maintain your identity in a relationship.
1. Have Your Me Time
One of the ways to ensure you are not losing yourself in a relationship is practicing me time. You must set a time to spend alone without your partner or kids (if you have them).
Always take time out. It could be one day in a week or a month, but make sure you set that time out. When you do this, you can think independently and more clearly, without the nudging of a partner or children’s whims.
To learn how to have the best me-time ever, read about how to prepare for the absolute me-day here.
2. Have A Personal Hobby
Couple hobbies are goals, no doubt. Cooking, working, and doing exercises are all cute and great. But if you want to focus on yourself, you should have a hobby. It could be writing, acting, running, swimming or playing tennis.
This should be an activity you do without your partner. Having such an activity enhances your individuality. It makes you distinct from your partner.
3. Keep In Touch With Old Friends
You do not need to cut communication with your friends simply because you are in a marriage or relationship. They should still be part of your life, and they must not be friends with your partner.
Those friends are one of the ways you can preserve your individuality. So, don’t turn down that all-girls night out. Go there and have fun. Don’t always watch that football match at home. Instead, watch it over a couple of beers at your buddy’s place.
How To Focus On Yourself As A Woman
Do you want to know how to focus on yourself as a woman? Think about these tips.
1. Don’t Mind Other People’s Opinions
Throughout eras, women have been policed on how to dress, think, speak and act. But not anymore. You can live on your terms without caring about what others think of you.
Do you feel like cutting your hair and dyeing it purple? Would that make you happy? Then, by all means, do it. And if people are going to be offended, let them be.
2. Choose Yourself
Women have also been taught to place others before them from childhood. First, you are taught as a woman how to keep a home and a man. And then how to keep children.
But rarely does anyone talk about the woman learning how to keep herself. So, for once, choose yourself. Do the things that bring smiles and joy to your heart. Sometimes, take a break from spouse hold and motherhood and recharge. You need it.
3. Your Value Is Not Tied To Your Looks
Do not let anyone look down on you because you do not conform to their standard of beauty. Remember that your worth and value depend on what you have in your mind, head and heart. So, no matter your body size and shape, hold your head high and do your thing.
How To Focus On Yourself As A Man
Knowing how to focus on yourself as a man is essential for any man looking to lead a better life. And here is how to do that.
1. Take Care Of Your Body
As a man, your body and your pocket are usually your pride. So, you have to take proper care of it. Start eating healthily. Limit junk: snacks and soda.
Take enough water and then work out. No matter how small the session is. This will improve the condition of your heart and immune system.
2. Define Your Success
As a man, you should have plans for your life that you intend to break down into small actionable goals. Then, when you have discovered what success means to you, pursue it tirelessly.
3. Learn To Control Your Temper
Men, due to testosterone, are given to fits of violence more than women, but this is not an excuse to be violent. If you are a man of temper, you must learn how to control it.
Uncontrollable anger will lead you to trouble. Instead, learn to let things go and walk away if you feel disrespected or insulted.
Conclusion
You are not being selfish for wanting to learn how to focus on yourself; instead, you are learning how to show yourself love. You need to put yourself first sometimes. Then, you will only be in the right frame of mind to help others.
Remember that to focus on yourself, you must first ensure that you care for your body by being mindful of what you eat. Exercise will also help. The next thing is to take care of your mind because it is the center of your being.
Do not hesitate to contact a professional if you have difficulty doing any of these.
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